Eternal Darkness of a SpotLess Mind

2011-05-07T13:26:00.002+05:30

नितळ बघितला काल. एक वेगळाच विषय फारसा आव न आणता मांडण्याचा चांगला प्रयत्न वाटला मला तरी.
गडगंज संपत्ती असलेल्या, serial वाल्या घरांनाही लाजवू शकेल अशा typical joint family मध्ये लहानाचा मोठा झालेला घरातला ३५ वर्षांचा अविवाहित डॉक्टर अंगभर कोड असणाऱ्या त्याच्या डॉक्टर मैत्रिणीच्या प्रेमात पडतो. प्रत्येक वयोगटाचे, वेगवेगळ्या पिढ्यांचे लोक कशा पद्धतीनी या बातमीला खळबळजनक बनवून react करतात आणि कशी सामाजिक, सांस्कृतिक आणि वाडवडिलांच्या संस्कारांचा side-effect म्हणून म्हणा किंवा आजूबाजूच्या समवयीन लोकांच्या वागणुकीचा आपल्यावर होणार्या परिणामामुळे म्हणा, खोलवर रुतून बसलेली "apparent" मुल्ये शेवटी चांगल्या-वाईटाच्या व्याख्या ठरवतात हा movie चा मूळ मुद्दा. आता इतका open-ended विषय निवडल्यामुळे आणि debate च्या सगळ्या बाजू मांडता आल्या पाहिजेत म्हणून characters तशी बरीच crudely generalized आणि stereotyped आहेत. प्रेमळ आजोबा, self-involved आणि rude काका, military खाक्याचे आणि कदाचित म्हणूनच कधीच काही बोलून न दाखवणारे वडील,social circle आणि social status च्या विचारांनी नाक मुरडणार्या काक्वा, "काय बिघडला यात" असं blindly म्हणणारे teen cousins आणि आपण कसे नवीन विचारांचे progressive लोक आहोत हे ठसवण्यासाठी ambivalent राहणारे धूर्त लोक....characters चा संपूर्ण गोतावळा आहे आणि काही काही संभाषणं पण खरोखरच विचार करायला लावणारी आहेत. हा रोग नाही तर फक्त lack of a pigment आहे, एखाद्याची identity हि फक्त बाहेरच्या रूपावर अवलंबून नसते, rebel करून आणि भांडून लग्न करता येईल आणि पाहिजे ते मिळवता येईल पण सुख मिळेल का वगैरे प्रश्न मांडून आणि purposefully ते unanswered ठेवून प्रत्येकाला त्याच्या point of view नि ते interpret करता आले पाहिजेत हा movie चा message पण चांगला आहे. पण.....
माशी शिंकायलाच हवी कुठेतरी.....
मला तरी एक गोष्ट जाम खटकली. 'तारे झमीन पर' बघताना पण खटकली होती, पण तेव्हा the drama of the movie overpowered me; कि अशा movies मध्ये आणि by "अशा", i mean कि अशा movies ज्या काहीतरी चाकोरीबाहेरचे विषय मांडतात, त्यांच्यामध्ये almost invariably, the "unlucky" character(who by definition has to be the protagonist) always has something to compensate for his "defect". म्हणजे तारे झमीन पर मधलं पोरगं हे एकदम gifted artist निघतं! काय probability आहे खऱ्या जगात असं होण्याची? दहा लाख मुलांमध्ये २० dyslexic असली तर त्यातली १९ मुलं हि average मुलंच नसणार का? आणि नेहमीपेक्षा खूप जास्त, खूप वेगळे कष्ट घेऊन average perform करत येणं हि पण एक त्यांच्या दृष्टीनी groundbreaking achievement नाही का? पण हे realistic दाखवणं तर सोडाच, अशा प्रकारच्या movies त्या protagonists च्या त्या overcompensating "abilities" ना "glorify" करतात! म्हणजे आधी जर त्यांच्या defect नि त्यांना objectify करण्यात येत असलं तर शेवटी त्यांच्या खतरनाक talent मुळे objectify केलं जातं. आणि सगळं normal चं दाखवलं तर story कुठे राहिली आणि drama कुठे राहिला हा मुद्दा च माझ्या मते void आहे. जर तुम्ही काहीतरी वेगळं करायला घेतलंय तर ते संपूर्णपणे तसच ठेवा, उगाच safe option निवडून तुम्ही स्वताच स्वताच्या विषयाला आणि मांडणीला खिजवताय कि काय असं वाटतं राहत .... नितळ मध्ये सुद्धा "काय talented surgeon आहे ती आणि किती सुंदर गाते बघा!" असं तो मुलगाच म्हणतो. अरे हे काय! म्हणजे चांगलं गाता येत नसतं तर नाही म्हणणार होता का तो? चांगल्या गोष्टींवर focus करावं, वाईट गोष्टी आणि disabilities पेक्षा, या point of view नि जर अशा गोष्टी include करण्यात येत असल्या तर it is even worse because it sends out a message कि हा defect वाईट आहे! पण यामुळे जे 'negative connotation" मिळाल तेही वाईटच! मूळ मुद्दा कि यात काही वाईट नाहीये तर it is a way of life हे सांगणं मागेच पडून जातं कुठेतरी आणि viewer काय शिकून जातो कि defect असलं तरी जोपर्यंत काहीतरी त्याला compensate करणारी ability आहे तोवर काळजीच काही कारण नाही..... And it is exactly this kind of thinking which defeats the purpose of why the movie was made in the first place....
नाही का? असो....

...........

2010-10-23T11:40:00.003+05:30

त्या त्या वेळेस बरोबर वाटलेले पण शेवटी चुकिचेच ठरलेले decisions.......
कुठल्यातरी senseless, useless inhibitions मुळे अडखळलेल पाउल, गिळले गेलेले शब्द, फिरवलेली मान आणि झटकून टाकलेले विचार.......
कशाचाच कशाला मेळ नाही,
एक नुसतीच खोल दरी! कधीच न संपणारी! काळी! भीषण!
अगदी हाडापर्यंत पोचणारी ती बोचरी भीती,
सहन पण न होणारी ती शांततेची पोकळी....अंतर्मुख बनायला सुद्धा घाबरवून सोडणारी ती compulsively बोलायची need.....
आणि शेवटी नुसतेच शब्द......एकापाठोपाठ एक......न संपणारे,
अखंड................

Really??

2010-04-11T11:27:00.003+05:30

छोट्या छोट्या, अव्यक्त आणि फुटकळ वाटणाऱ्या गोष्टीच कधी कधी उगाचच लक्षात राहतात.........

खरं सांगायचं तर असं काहीच groundbreaking घडलेलं नसतं, त्यांमधून मिळालेला आनंद, किंवा सलणार दुःख हे literally क्षणिक असतं पण तरी सुद्धा अनेक obviously भावना demand करणाऱ्या गोष्टींपेक्षा - काहीतरी अशा seemingly insignificant गोष्टींमुळे 'झालेल्या' भावना(खरं तर इथे 'प्रसवलेल्या' हे क्रियापद जास्त fittt बसेल पण जाऊ दे :-P) - या का बरं एवेढ्या भावतात? कडकडून मिठी मारण्यात तर एक आनंद असेलच - पण नुसते डोळे जरी भिडले तरीसुद्धा जे butterflies येतात ते हि एवढे हवेहवेसे का वाटतात? हसत खिदळत टाळ्या देत मजा करणं औरच आहे - पण ६ महिने फारसा contact नसताना अचानक 'तुझे फोटो पाहिले - भारी वाटलं' हा एकच ओळीचा offliner पण तेव्हढाच जवळचा का बरं वाटतो? कदाचित अव्यक्त राहण्यात पण एक गम्मत असेल - overtly expressive नसणं हाच त्यांचा express करण्याचा एक भाग असेल - मला वाटतं कि expressive असताना आपण भावनांना labels देऊ शकतो - मला आनंद झाला - वाईट वाटलं असं marked distinction करता येत - पण काही भावना अबोल च बऱ्या असतात - आणि त्यांचं ते अबोल असणं हेच सुंदर असतं

कितीदा तरी होतं असं माझं, कुणीतरी काहीतरी बातमी सांगतं आणि मग त्यावर एका socially accepted way नि react करणं अपेक्षित असतं, म्हणजे अरे हि आनंदाची बातमी आहे, आनंद दाखवला पाहिजे , दुखः दिसलं पाहिजे, पण कधी कधी तसं जमतच नाही, कारण काय वाटतंय, नक्की काय भावना आत्ता मनात आलीये, ते either कळलेल तरी नसतं or कळून ती दाखवायला मन धजावत नसतं. किंवा तिसरी गोष्ट म्हणजे त्याची तीव्रता; त्या संवेदनेची 'level' म्हणू आपण; अजून अपेक्षित intensity ला पोचलेली नसते - ज्याला not necessarily फक्त वेळेचीच गरज असते पण कधी कधी एखाद्या घटनेचीपण.Again, 99% of the times आपण आपोआप बरोबर react करतोच ,केलं जातंच, पण कधी कधी जमत नाही हे हि तेव्हढंच खरं. मन नुसतंच कोरडं राहत. अर्थात हे सगळं त्याच वेळेला लागू होतं जेव्हा सांगणाऱ्याला, ऐकणाऱ्या कडून जी भावना invoke करायची असते तीच ऐकणाऱ्याकडून खरच invoke होते or invoke होण्याची शक्यता तरी जास्त असते. उदाहरणार्थ "हारल रे manU" असं मला कुणी सांगितलं expecting कि मीहि त्याच्या दुख्हात सहभागी होणार तर चुकलास मित्रा, पण जेव्हा सगळं काही नीट होऊन मनानी शहाण्यासारखं वागणं, react करणं अपेक्षित असतं पण तरीही ते होत नाही, तेव्हा मग ते हास्य 'हास्य' राहत नाही, काहीतरी उगाचच भेसूर होऊन जातं, चेहरा आंबट होऊन जातो आणि वाईटातली वाईट गोष्ट म्हणजे ते आपल आपल्यालाच फक्त दिसत असतं.......

असो, assuming कि हा प्रत्येकाच्या स्वभावाचा एक अविभाज्य घटक आहे, let me get back to what i wanted to say originally. जर आपण अश्या "बटबटीत"(honestly for the lack of a better word - साली मातृभाषेची शब्दसंपत्ती इतकी वरवरची आणि वीर GRE देतात!) घटनांना, गोष्टींना इतकं महत्व देतो, or rather accepted interaction norms नुसार, चाकोरीबाहेर जाऊन "हे असं बरोबर नाही दिसणार च्यायला" म्हणून त्यांना 'अवाजवी' - निदान त्या क्षणापुरतं तरी ते नक्की 'अवाजवी'च असतं - भाव देतो, तर मग लहानश्या, क्षणिक, irrelevant, childish, "हु त्यात काय एवढ" वाटणाऱ्या गोष्टींना थोडसं महत्व दिलं तर त्यात काय चुकलं? सगळ्याच गोष्टींना आनंद, दुखः अशा crude generalizations मध्ये का बसवायचं? अर्थात या गोष्टी प्रत्येकाच्या त्याच्या त्याच्या मानसिकता, संवेदनशीलता, एकूणच व्यक्तिमत्व कसं आहे - थोडक्यात भावना feel करण्याची त्या व्यक्तीची index किती आहे - यानुसार त्यांचं स्वरूप, त्यांचा seriousness - from others' point of view of course - बदलणार पण तरी सुद्धा त्या व्यक्तीपुरततरी त्याच महत्व तिळमात्र कमी नाही होत. आता गेल्या काही महिन्यातल्याच अशा काही गोष्टी कि ज्या बहुतेक 'पांचट' या category मध्ये बसतील, stupid म्हणून हिणवल्या जातील इतरांकडून पण असं होणं हीच त्यांच्या relevant असण्याची पावती असेल :-P

अशाच काही सटरफटर गोष्टी - आयला माझा blog आहे, मी काहीही idiotic पण टाकीन!

1)आपण काहीच करत नाहीरे, काहीतरी करायला पाहिजे, कुठतरी जायला पाहिजे अशी तावातावानी चर्चा होऊन, त्याचा शेवट चला भेळ खाऊ/कॉफी पिऊ/जेवायला जाऊ/cadb खाऊ याने होणं आणि यातलं काहीतरी केल्यावर खरच चांगलं वाटणं!

2)एखादं गाणं अगदी enjoy करत ऐकत असताना - एखादं कडव संपलं कि जो momentary lull येतो त्यात गाणं संपलंय असं वाटण पण तेव्हढ्यात अजून राहिलेलं ते शेवटचं कडव चालू होणं आणि उगाचच चेहऱ्यावर एक smile येणं.... :-)
3)एक वाईट, खोल, घाणेरडा खड्डा, bike वेगात, break दाबण शक्य नाहीये, खूप गचका बसणारे, गाडीची वाट लागू शकते जाऊ दे च्यायला, घाला तशीच - आणि त्याच वेगामुळे असुदे किंवा उगाचच extra मानसिक तयारी केल्यामुळे असुदे - bike अशी हलकीच cruise होत गेल्यासारखी वाटणं.............

4)buzz च्या edit profile मध्ये - "Something I can't find using Google" च्या example options मध्ये paradise,love,atlantis याबरोबरच 'Oceanic 815' पण दिसण :-P

असो.

बाकी काहीही नाही तरी 'वायफळ बडबड करणे' हा purpose तरी या post नि नक्की complete केला असेल!

PS: I hope the symbolism in the last line is obvious :-)

वर्षांतर

2009-08-12T21:03:00.003+05:30

[Updated]

"एक वर्ष झालं कि घोड्या!" शेवटच्या exam नंतर गोव्याला जाऊन ढोसलेल्या दारूचा वास जातो न जातो तोच job चालू झाला होता आणि आज, अक्षरशः बघता बघता एक वर्ष उलटलं कि! चार quarters, एक performance review, बारा महिने आणि ३६५ दिवस जगुन पण झाले च्यायला , मी officially म्हातारा पण झालो :P

Techinically सांगायचं तर २-३ आठवड्यापूर्वीच माझा हा वाला 'वाढदिवस' झाला - पण नेहमीप्रमाणे त्या दिवशी काहीच 'वाढ' झाल्यासारखं वाटलं नव्हतं - ते म्हणा कधीच वाटत नाही - पण काहीतरी विचित्र, वेगळ अस feeling पण नव्हतं - ते असं काहीतरी छोट्या छोट्या गोष्टींमधूनच कळत जातं - for example - friendship day :) तसं बघायला गेलं तर या वेळेला पण मागच्या वेळ सारखाच आणि मागच्या वेळ एवेढाच राडा आणि गोंधळ घातला पण मुद्दा असा कि मागच्या वर्षी आणि या वर्षी मी ज्या लोकांबरोबर होतो - ते २ sets अक्षरशः mutually exclusive होते - अर्थात एक दोन अपवाद सोडून ! आणि मग वाटून गेलं खरच केवढं बदललय सगळं, आतून बाहेतून! Stress points, pressure चे मुद्दे , दिनक्रम , body clock अगदी अथपासून इथिपर्यंत सगळं :-)

तसं बघायला गेलं तर कुठलाच बदल हा चांगला किंवा वाईट नसतो - तो फक्त अपरिहार्य असतो! आणि कितीही तयारी केली , कितीही मानसिक समजूत घालून ठेवली तरीसुद्धा कोण कुठल्या change ला कसा, कितपत adapt होईल हे काळच ठरवतो. लोकं म्हणतात कि बदल त्यांनाच मानवतो जे बदलायला तयार असतात - but i don't think its about being the fittest to survive the change, its about surviving the change to be the fittest. हे म्हणजे लाटा उसळणाऱ्या समुद्रात उभं राहण्यासारखं आहे. आपण एकाच जागी राहायचा ठरवलं तर आपल्याच नाका-तोंडात पाणी जाणार आपलीच चिडचिड होणार आणि main म्हणजे आपल्यालाच त्यांची मजा नाही अनुभवता येणार! त्याउलट जर आपण क्षणभर रोवलेले पाय सोडून तरंगायला तयार असलो, तर लाटांच्या लयीत वर खाली होणं काही फारसं अवगढ नसतं :) लाटा तर relentlessly येतंच राहणारेत - त्या थांबवण्याची क्षमता आपल्याकडे कधीच नव्हती - त्या आपल्यावर आदळतच राहणारेत - त्यांना आदळू द्यायचा का नाही हा option सुद्धा आपल्याकडे कधी नव्हताच - कधीच नसणारे....असो. :)

आता नवीन जॉब, नवीन माणसं, नवीन काम, नवीन जग - या सगळ्या tangible गोष्टी झाल्या - पण याचबरोबर खूप साऱ्या intangible गोष्टी पण आहेत ज्यांच्यामुळे i had a real blast this year!! अर्थात सगळ्याच, सगळ्यांना सांगण्यासारख्या नाहीत - पण at least काही factors तरी नक्की deserve करतात :) ->

1)"s/w मध्ये जॉब आहे" हे सांगितल्यावर उंचावणाऱ्या भुवया, अगदी थोडेसेच पण तरीही noticeable असे मिचमिचे झालेले डोळे , "हो का?" "बर बर" "छान हो" वगैरे घिसेपिटे responses आणि "हा पण त्यांच्या team मध्ये गेलेला दिसतोय" असं बोलणार ते कुत्सित हास्य - विशेषतः काका-काकू वयोगटातल्या लोकांचं - या सगळ्याची पहिल्यांदा सवय करून घ्यावी लागली :) तसं बघायचं तर मी s/w engineersच्या सेकण्ड generation मधला आहे असं म्हणायला हरकत नाही - त्यामुळे ' s/w चे लोक म्हणजे जास्त पगार मिळणारे आणि म्हणून स्वताला दीड शहाणे समजणारे ' हि समजूत आता रुजून कुजून जुनी झालीये - so तुका म्हणे याबद्दलचे वाद मला तरी फारसे सहन करायला लागले नाहीत.

2) माझ्या कंपनी च नाव - 'Marvell Semiconductors' -
"हि कुठली कंपनी बरं? तुला IBM/Infosys ची offer होती असं म्हणाला होतास ना? काय झालं त्याचं? तिकडं का बर नाही गेलास??" असं जेव्हा चेहऱ्यावर आर्त भाव आणून "कुठे आहेस तू" या प्रश्नाच्या माझ्या उत्तरावर लोक react करायचे तेव्हा खरच a little part of me used to die inside :) यात कुणाचीच काहीच चूक नाही - माझी मात्र पक्की विकेट गेलेली असायची!

3)चंगळवाद
वडा पाव २ चा ५, ५ चा १० आणि १० चा २० झालाय म्हणून कुरकुर काही थांबवली गेलेली नाही - फक्त आता वडा पाव खाण्याचं प्रमाण मात्र कमी झालंय . high-earning-high-spending-mall संस्कृती वगैरे वगैरे वादात मला पडायचंच नाहीये - किंवा rather ते नंतर कधीतरी - पण एक गोष्ट मात्र खरी - कि स्वत कमावलेले पैसे खर्च करताना जे भारी वाटतं ते शब्दात नाही सांगता येणार -
पैसे चांगल्या पद्धतीने, कसे खर्च करायचे हे खूप कमी लोकांना कळत, मान्य!
आहेत म्हणून फक्त दिसेल त्यावर पैसे खर्च करणं हा शुद्ध मूर्खपणा आहे, मान्य!
पण हि चंगळवादाची definition च नाही मुळी - हि तर नुसती 'चंगळ' झाली :P
चंगळवाद हा peer pressure नि येतो - "shit अजून आपल्याला Basho's कुठं हे माहिती नाही" , "अजून चांदणी चौकातल्या Apache मध्ये जायचं राहिलंय" - "आयला अजून Casanova मध्ये नाही गेलेलो" असं जेव्हा अगदी 'आतून' वाटायला लागत ना तेव्हा वेळ आलेली असते चंगळवाद join करण्याची! चंगळवाद हि म्हणून तर एक चळवळ आहे - joint effort - distributed system - असो चंगळवादाचा detailed manifesto नंतर कधीतरी :-P

4)Recession -
एखादं अवजड दार खालती पडून बंद होण्याच्या just आधी खालच्या फटीतून - निसटून वाचलेली batch - म्हणजे माझी batch! आम्ही s/w industry मध्ये पाऊल ठेवलं ना ठेवलं तोच recession चालू झालं - timing पण अगदी सुरेख जुळून आलं तसं आमचं! ३-४ महिन्यातच काहींचे जॉब गेले - ऑफिस मधल्या सगळ्या freebies बंद झाल्या - आणि नाही म्हटलं तरी एक tension च फिलिंग आलेलं असायचं - पण जाऊ दे - कदाचित हा पण एक lesson च होता - सुरुवातीलाच या पेशाचा भेसूर चेहरा बघायला मिळाला, असो :)

५) रोजच्या बोलण्यामध्ये आलेलं sophistication - म्हणजे असं निदान मला तरी वाटतंय -
'mail-a-mail-i' मध्ये येणारे references बाजूला ठेवले तरी बोलण्यामध्ये सुद्धा Thank you - sorry - thanks - वगैरे म्हणायचं प्रमाण वाढलंय - परवा तर चक्क मी movies आणि serials कॉपी करून घेतल्या नंतर एका मित्राला thank you म्हणालो - त्याला पण जरा चुकल्या चुकल्या सारखं झालं असेल :-P

तर म्हणता म्हणता एक वर्ष तरी survive झालंय बघू पुढे काय होतं ते - पुढचं पुढे :)

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वेदांग नि seriously मनावर घेऊन ह्या Post च English मध्ये भन्नाट translation केलेलं आहे - इथे .
धन्यवाद वेदांग!

नाटकीपणा - भाग एक

2009-06-21T14:42:00.004+05:30

[Long Post]

खर सांगायच तर नाटकातल मला ओ-की-ठो कळत नाही। कॉलेज च्या काळात पुरुषोत्तम, फिरोदियाशी आपला सम्बन्ध फक्त जोरजोरात cheering करायला जाणे, घसा फोडून बोम्बलायला मिळणे आणि बाकीच्या colleges च्या पोरी बघायला जाणे एवढाच होता. आम्ही आपले बोरू-बहाद्दर - मारे हे पुस्तक वाचलय, ती कथा वाचलिये अस सांगत फिरणारे - असो. तर मुद्दा असा की भले आपल्याला एखाद्या विशयातल टिचभर जरी कळत असल तरी मनसोक्त, कुणाचीही तमा न बाळगता ते ज्ञान पाजळायला blog ही सोप्पी पळवाट आहे - नव्हे गेल्या काही महिन्यात असे हजारो self-proclaimed blogs वाचून हे गरजेचच आहे हे मला पटलय. अहो orkut, twitter एवढच blogger वरचा अकाउंट असण महत्वाच आहे अस म्हणतात लोक - तर मग अशाच एका blogger च वाक्य - त्याच्या परवानगीशिवाय ढापून मी वापरतो - ' अगदी पुण्यात बटाटे कुठे चांगले मिळतात तिथपासून ते Estonia च्या अर्थव्यवस्थेवर s/w industry recession चे उमटलेले पडसाद' यावर मी छातीठोकपणे मत मांडूनच राहणार! आणि म्हणूनच जरी भले माझे ५-६ मित्रच हा ब्लॉग वाचत असले ( च्यायला orkut आणि facebook वर अधाशासारखे friends add करून काही उपयोग होत नाही सांगतो ) तरी मारे greatBong वगैरे तत्सम कसलेल्या bloggers सारखं मी वरती 'Long Post' अस चावटपणे लिहिलंय हे सूज्ञांच्या लक्षात आल असेलच :-P

हा तर मुद्द्याची बात - नाटकं. गेल्या ३ आठवड्यांच्या कालावधीत मी पक्की '५' नाटकं बघितली. आता प्रायोगिक, experimental, artistic, aesthetic, भन्नाट, तुफान, layyyy bhaaarrrii, फोडलंय, एक वेगळीच संवेदनशीलता लागते अशी नाटकं बघायला, वगैरे सगळी विशेषणं लागू होतील अशी नाटक होती ती. खरं सांगायचं तर " झेपत असेल तर बघा नाहीतर उगाच नंतर कळलं नाही म्हणून शिव्या घालत रडत बसू नका " हा सुप्त encrypted अर्थ या सगळ्या विशेषणा मागे दडलाय हे मला अनुभवांती कळलंय आता. तसं बघायचं तर अशा नाटकांना 'spoilers' असा काही प्रकार नसतो - त्यामुळे तुम्ही हि नाटकं बघणार असाल किंवा बघणार नसाल, बघितली असतील किंवा नसतील, माझ्या विशेष टिप्पण्या (म्हणजे अचरटपणा) वाचून काही फरक पडेल असं मला वाटत नाही. Again, मला साहित्यिक बारकावे, theatrical भावभावना, artistic संवेदनशीलता वगैरे कळत नाही. मी आपला एक पोट सुटलेला, केस विरळ होत चाललेला, चंगळवादी संस्कृतीचा पामर s/w engineer आहे - अजाण अबोध बालक - आणि म्हणून हि बडबड सर्वतोपरी 'उथळ' आहे हे ओघानी आलच :-)

१. "आ जा मेरी गाडी में बैठ जा"
मी सुरुवातीला ठरवलं होता कि २-३ वाक्यात आधी नाटकाची theme सांगायची आणि मग पुढे जायचं पण देवाशप्पथ खरं सांगतो खोटं बोलत नाही - मला हे नाटक कशाबद्दल आहे, काय आहे, का आहे, purpose काय, जे घडतंय ते का घडतंय, कस, कुठे, कधी, का काहीच कळलं नाही. स्त्री-पुरुषांमधले संबंध - वेगवेगळ्या वयोगटातले , वेगवेगळ्या वयोगटातल्यांचे ; कालानुपरत्वे येणारा relationship मधला शीळेपणा; एका मर्यादेबाहेर एकमेकांना ''granted for' धरले जाणे; पोटतिडीकीने, तिरस्काराने दुसर्याला लागेल असे बोलणे आणि नुसते बोलणे नाही तर ते अक्षरशः ओरबाडून सांगणे; प्रेमात पडण्याची अधीरता, प्रेमात पडल्या नंतरची स्वताच स्वताची केलेली ससेहोलपट या आणि अशा अनेक भावनांचा नुसता भडीमार होतो. २ नच पात्र आहेत पण तरीही खूप loud, बटबटीत वाटत. पण त्याला कुठेच कथेचा एकसंधपणा नाही आणि अशी काहीच theme नसल्यानी नको तिकडे हशा मिळतो, हिरो नि shirt काढल्यावर शिट्ट्या मारणे वगैरे अचकट प्रकार चालू होतात आणि माणूस bore होतो. त्यात दीर्घांक. १२० minutes सलग.मला almost झोप लागली होती पण मित्रानी अगदी हातवारे वगैरे करून उठवलं म्हणून. त्यात हे कुठल्यातरी Russian का greek का egyptian कथेच नाट्यरूपांतर आहे - मला खरच लक्षात ठेवावं वाटलं नाही - कारण उगाच नंतर शोधून ती कथा वाचालीये वगैरे भानगडच नको म्हणल :)

2. "तू"
आत्तापर्यंत बरीच पारितोषिक मिळवलेलं आणि सर्वार्थानं नावलौकिक वगैरे असलेलं हे नाटक. विषय अर्थात प्रेम आणि लिहिलंय एका कवयित्री नि. कवीला कुठल्या डोळ्यांनी, कुठल्या चष्म्यातून, कुठल्या आवरणातून जग दिसत कोण जाणे - तासंतास बडबड केली तरी देखील शब्दात मांडता येणार नाहीत अशा भावना ज्यांना दहा ओळीत सुबकपणे बंदिस्त करता येतात त्यांना माझं seriously दंडवत. यात एक साधारण ५० कविता आहेत - गद्य स्वरुपात - अगदी slightly connected stories च्या format मध्ये गुंफलेल्या , arabic किंवा persian backdrop असलेल्या. नाटक सुरु होतं एका प्रियकर प्रेयसी च्या उत्कट प्रवेशापासून. नंतर खूप खूप प्रेम, विरह, दुख, मदिरा, बेधुन्दी, बेहोशी, स्वताला झोकून देणं, हरवून जाणं, जगाच्या आणि जीवाच्या अंतापर्यंत मी तुला शोधेन, मी तुझ्यासाठी थांबेन वगैरे सगळं होतं. कलाकार बरेच आहेत, सगळेच चांगले कसलेले, energetic आहेत. नाटक खिळवून नक्की ठेवतं पण मला असं कुठेतरी वाटलं कि हे लोकं कवितेचं interpretation आपल्यावर enforce करतायत - कविते मधली भावना त्यांच्या अभिनयानी नक्कीच जास्त 'ग्राफिक' स्वरुपात बाहेर येते - पण मग 'कविता भावली' हे जे feeling प्रत्येकाला येत कधी न कधी तरी एखादी कविता वाचल्यावर - जे प्रत्येकाचं वेगळं असतं, unique असतं आणि ते त्याच्या मानसिकतेशी जोडलेलं असतं - तेच कुठे तरी हरवून गेलं असं वाटतं.

असो आज एवढंच 'उंटावरून शेळ्या हकण'....... बाकिच नंतर

क्रमशः

सहजच

2008-10-18T20:34:00.006+05:30

"पिछले सात दिनों में मैंने हे खोया...." ,
नाही नाही नको नको बोर जालय आता हे song , गाड़ी तल्या ४ पैकी तिघांच अस मत असल्यामुळे अणि भारतात लोकशाही असल्याने (म्हणजे थोडक्यात ती गाड़ी माजी नसल्याने) मला रेडियो चा channel change करावाच लागला तेवढ्यात एक वाक्य आलच " आयला एवढ्या सगळ्या गोष्टी या man नि एका week मध्ये हरवल्या - काय करत तरी काय होता" "अरे हरवल्या असतील आधीच कधीतरी - पण गूम आहेत हे समजल मागच्याच week मध्ये ...." प्रत्येक सॉफ्टवेर इंजिनियर ला आपण २४ तास १२ महीने logically विचार केलाच पाहिजे अस मनापासून वाटत जस रिक्शा वाल्यांना मगरूरी अणि पोलिसांना बेफिकिरी दाखवण्याची नैतिक जबाबदारी आहे अस वाटत त्यातलाच हा प्रकार. "आवरा!! " गाडीत आवरा म्हणायचा पेटंट माझ्याकडे आहे, "मुर्ख आहात तुम्ही मुलांनो, song चांगला आहे ना, ईइका आणि सोडून दया , आणि आत्ता नाही ते पण " मुली टोमणा मारण्याची एकही संधि वाया जाऊ देत नाहीत याचा हाअनखिन एक प्रत्यय अल्यानंटर, मी विचार केला च्यायला अवघ्या दोन वीक्स पूर्वी ऑफिस मध्ये आठ आठ तास ही गाणी एइक्नारे आम्ही लगेच बोर काय जालों....., असो, तर आता maaza निषेध व्यक्त करण्यासाठी मी मोबाइलमधला "जितियें अमुक अमुक" वगैरे तत्सम जहिरात्बाज़ मेसेज फुल आव आणून पर्सनल मेसेज असल्यासारखा वाचू लागलो. आता ही ट्रिक पण जुनी जालिये पण अजुनही प्रूवन जालिम आहे :-) "के डोला रे डोला रे डोला ....." कुणीच विरोध न केल्यामुले silence is acceptance नुसार मी Radio-"DJ" गिरी बंद केलि अणि खिडकितुनबाहेर बघू लागलो, नाउ साडे नाऊ ची वेल त्यात range hills चा रस्ता, आजुबाजुला हिरवगार अणि traffic नाही.....प्लस friday night. तसही एकुणच शुक्रवारी रात्रि adrenalin level जरा वाढलेली असतेच ..........
कॉलेज नि LC दिला परवा , एका मित्राचा dilogue जालाच 'आता कसा कॉलेज नि डिवोर्स दिल्यासारखा वाटतयमहिना थोडेसे दया आता फक्त म्हनाव कॉलेज ला की जालच :-P ' हसाव का रडाव या वाक्यावर हे न समजल्यामुलेसगळे हसलेच होते .....friends च्या catagories मध्ये आता 'दोस्त' , 'कॉलेज ग्रुप' ,'शालेतला ग्रुप' , 'girlfriends' (मी optimistic आहे, या catagory मध्ये कोणी नसल तरी अशी catagory सुद्धा ठेवू नए हा कुठला न्याय :-P ), 'we are just good friends' (निदान यात तरी कोणीतरी पाहिजे - पण इयत्ता आठवी पासून एकच उत्तर आहे - work in progress :-) ) या नेहमीच्या सोडून colleagues अशी नवीन "टीम" तयार zaliye :-P आपल्याला पाच दिवस फुकट gilayala मिळणार यातल अपरूप संपलय, "मेरा ऑफिस 16km दूर है " या वाक्यातला तर दमच गेलाय सगला.....माणुस किती लवकर adapt होतो.... weekend ला दिवसभर zopa काढण्याची सवय शरीराला व्ह्यायला एकच weekend पुरला A।C। हा maza जन्मसिद्थ हक्क आहे हे पक्क zala। headphones, cell, cell cha charger, laptop,tyacha charger,LAN wires अस आयुष्य 'wiry' zalay पण शरीर मात्र गोलाई च्या रस्त्यानी चाललय :P
"काय रे खयालोमें डूबा एकदम," बरोबर आहे, song संपून १० सेकंड्स होउन गेले तरी मी अजुन channel change केला नव्हता (ही माजी खासियत आहे) सगल्या चैनल्स वर हिमेशभाई अपला "Karzzz" fedat आहे हे लक्षातआल, SFM वाले बिचारे "नवनिर्माण" mule दर तीन songs मध्ये एक तरी मराठी लाव्तातच पण ती बहुतेक गाणी अगम्य असतात म्हणुन ते पण गेल, शेवटी Sindbad the Sailor कुठेतरी सापडल "दुसरीकडे कुठेच काही नाहीये सो......" मी मिस्किलपणे (obviously) , एक सार्वजनिक उसासा......and we Rocked on..........

Dilemma

2008-06-23T10:23:00.004+05:30

I had always been a great ' एसाप्नीती ' fan - you know the little - 100 or so - word stories which aim at teaching something 'worthwhile' and 'teach lessons of life' and blah blah.... well neway i used to find the stories pretty amusing & without any forwarded emails back then where else would one find short & sweet way to pass time? So the thing is, yesterday, during 'the purge' of my room i came across the book and there was one story, heavily titled 'existential dilemma' (don't even ask what its marathi counterpart - that is the actual title was, i conveniently ignored it ;-) ) So here's the story -

A man is running hard to escape a hungry tiger. He tumbles in panic and rolls off a valley. He is falling to what promises to be a certain death in the gorge below, when he just manages to clutch at a small tree that is growing on the rock face( see even 'original' hindi films have their climaxes copied :-P ). He hangs there for dear life. The choice is a bleak one. Above him is a hungry tiger and below him is a deep gorge. There is death on both sides. Just then, the dangling man’s eyes fall upon an 'abandoned' beehive that is a few feet above the tree that he is frantically hanging on to. There is honey dripping from the beehive. The man shuts his eyes and puts his tongue out to catch the sweet honey. It is his moment of fleeting bliss!

The story ends here! Wow, humans are a contemptible lot, damn it, at least Essop definitely was!

Well ,these days I have lots of time to kill, so you know why not learn something about 'existence' and all , I think there are two basic explanations, pretty obvious ones -

(1) Here is this man facing a certain death and, even then, all he can think of is petty satisfaction of his senses. The story tries to show what trivial levels men can sink to even in the face of worthy challenges.

(2)The other explanation is that the human condition is hopeless anyway. We are caught between the tiger and the gorge. It is the drops of honey that make our lives worth living( full SRK sentiments :-P ).

I favour the second analysis,obviously, though I worry that the first one is correct and I am merely rationalizing - something that that we all do - something which sounds better than compromising.

Also,while imagining the situation I found myself looking ridiculous, you know head extended, mouth open, eyes shut, waiting for honey to fall.Won't it be easy to just let go?

P.I.C.T. - एक पर्व

2008-06-19T23:34:00.007+05:30

'Don't shout in the exam hall damn it take it outside!!'..... shit, let these not be the last words that a teacher ever said to me....
i am feeling dizzy here,my hands are shaking ,i
want to shout,scream,yell on top of my voice,yet
i feel stupid i don't even know what i want to do,i am not sure what i am trying to express and what is being expressed, i want to be with my friends but at the same time i want to be left alone with my thoughts,my memories and yet i sway with the crowd, do the stupid dance and curse and scream like its the end of the world..i don't want to let go of the euphoria but the feeling is still here,every handshake,every hug, i wish it wasn't the last but it is and its at that particular instant of letting go that it hits me,it hits me hard,so I try to scream louder, try to jump higher,punching the air endlessly not wishing to stop..man the feeling's still there, a pit in the stomach , a tremble thats refusing to go away, a nostalgic shadow thats slowly,very slowly making me realise its THE END no more tricks, no more games it ends here,now....Before i realise an hour's gone and i am heading home...OMG i forgot to have a last look at the college gates ,receding...like i always wanted to...i turn around,i am speeding away, i crane my neck, i try my best,oh come on.... why can't i see it...its gone, i've come too far now..........

I don't know what im gonna miss most or whether i'll ever be able to point out that this is the thing i miss, maybe its everything, maybe its nothing....four years, four loong years, so many things happened, so many things changed, so many new people,friends....and here i am at the other end looking back,trying to make sense of the jumbled up memories,trying to figure out how it shaped my life, how it shaped me......

I remember the times(and there were quite a few :P) when i had cursed the college,cursed me for my choices,cursed everything,blamed everything to college and yet i know now,in fact i guess i always knew that this would be the place i would cherish the most,i would miss the most...there have been so many things...good, bad, worse, perfect, ectastic!, irritating, frustrating, stressful, seemingly unending, positively dreadful....and like everyone else i've had my share of good and bad things, but right now,at this point i feel.....'content', grateful that it happened,thankful that i got a chance to 'live it'

Well im gonna try my best to hang on to these things,never forget what it was like,never forget how it felt an hour before graphics or ACAC exam, never fade out the dread that used to fill up my insides just before picking up 'problem chit' in practicals,the trembles that i used to feel while signing my name on the result attendance sheet with the result lying just a few inches & seconds away...........now i understand how Akash in DCH would have felt when he looks at those college students goofing around...its never going to be the same not in PG or anything.....all i can think is.....

"Chal Apulech Asane Ata Durun Pahuu....................................."

------------------------------------------------------------Pic-- courtesy - Nachiket( :) )

A SOAPY Affair!!

2008-02-03T12:06:00.000+05:30

I absolutely have never managed to understand whats the deal with these soaps,i mean come on, barring aside the 200 years old grandmas and the 10kg makeup on a 40kg body and the ridiculously blunt thrashing of instruments that they call music,a wisp of a storyline, completely satanic vamps and so-well-behaved (read idiot and with zero self respect) bahus and extremely spoilt children, these so called family dramas rope in such a strong viewing that I am literally starting to think whether theres some big picture over there that i am honestly not able to grasp.

Actually on a TV show I saw Ekta Kapoor giving such mouth-shutting and prompt replies that I admit I was quite impressed, she is not so stupid after all then. She says its for
people to get away from their daily hassles ,fine so you tell them a story which has so many
glitches and hitches that they'll end up thinking,'at least my life is definitely better than
this',kewl accepted,people do end up feeling better if they see someone else who is in much
more trouble than they are,Ekta-1,Me-0.

Then she goes on saying that things are dumbed down and storyline is made mildly predictable because people after their day of hard work wouldn't want to strain their brains much and expect a straightforward recreation,Ok.Then show them Tom,Jerry na,will work better,and whos to guarantee that the deadly characters in her soaps won't give more headache? And a touch of mystery or thrill doesn't necessarily tire one down on the contrary it might revitalise the mind.Deadpan plots might just end up making us feel more droopy sucking out all the will to do anything after one episode....OOhhhHHkkkk so thats the trick you will lose the will to get up,to change channels and the next serial begins in a second, wow hats off,I really hadn't seen this coming,Ekta-2,Me-0.

Finally,she says it bridges generation gap,WHAT?? Aunties and gradmas see young people romancing and the concept of girlfriend,boyfriend is made clearer to them like how they behave and talk to each other and all making the aunties more liberal minded,Holy cow,now I am completely out cold.Shahrukh Khan has been trying to do the same thing for 20 years and only thing he has managed to do is to make girls think that boyfriends have to behave like he does in his films.Should a love story MUST have some family opposition and the girl or boy being spoilt at first ,usually the boy ,with him suddenly becoming an angelic person after marriage because of the 'tyaag of bahu'.At least the bits and pieces that I have seen the supposedly young people portrayed there DO NOT behave the way a sane young person would behave.Ok I am taking this one to save me the shame..Ekta-2 Me-1.

Of course,things are changing and they will hopefully and there have been a few good exceptions at least marathi ones that I have come across but right now lets just hope the
American Writers Association Strike ends soon and we can get back on the usual dosage of the
Prison Break,Lost and many... :-P

But I can't help thinking,I just can't that Ekta Kapoor might end up criticising these
shows better than I have managed hers..:-P

Fred : "Just a couple of drops of Ageing Potion would do "

2007-12-07T13:11:00.000+05:30

In Potterworld you come of age at 17 only.Savvy,eh? In India though, you have to be at least 18 to have that feel of 'a legitimate teenager',well, if not in India then at least in Pune or hell at least in my case definitely! Neway the thing is when you are 21,have a decent job offer in hand(apparently!) and at least a cloudy,hazy shape of an idea of what your next 2-3 years are going to be you tend to feel a little 'grown up',start having those ideas about breaking out of the caccoon and doing something 'grown up' style...the best time to do it would definitely be the end of a yet another loong,tiring exam...Well here's a scene of how i think one of those ..hhmmmm...."events" would go, mind you there are no names mentioned, its almost imaginary but unlike every other imaginations this might just have a bit too much of a realistic base,its almost like it has happened.....<:-P ....

The Players :-

the guy who-thinks-he-is-not-drunk-but-he-is-a-little-bit

the guy who-wants-to-avoid-puking-at-all-costs.....past experiences do count,see... sigh...a lost cause in the end though

the guy who-is-dead-drunk-and-wants-to-prove-that-he-is-not-that-drunk

the guy who-has-had-maximum-to-drink-and-yet-shows-no-visible-'effects' ....obviously the one who everyone else secretely envies....

the Host who himself doesn't drink but doesn't mind others drinking in his house when-parents-are-gone
......one couldn't have wished for a better set-up,
a place just waiting to be trashed down,wassay?

and lastly the guy who doesn't like drinking but is present there to see others get drunk and have himself a few good laughs....

Now with this stage set,how would the events unfold....predictably i guess...there would be the unmistakable thrashing of all past bad teachers and proffessors...the nostalgic moments of bunked lectures and 'worst till' submissions,remembering again about the narrow escapes from teachers,lab assistants and hell even traffic police, and of course last but not the least 'girls'!! Well the two guys who are not drinking would have 'a considerable advantage' over others of being able to steer conversation away from their 'muses' without others realising it quickly :-P.And once the "4 Musketeers" are enough overwhelmed, man the two sane ones could just make them dance,sing,sit on stupid stools ,something that they as 'grown ups' would rather avoid....In the end though it might just unintentionally take a wrong turn and someone might just end up crying as he could no longer keep the conflicting emotions bottled up....

Is this growing up? Or is this wrong on all possible levels?Well i'm not talking about whether drinking is Ok or not ,its a different ball game completely and what I think about drinking isn't going to change anyone else's opinion about it nor do I want to. Secondly, 'I haven't done this till today so I must do it at least once' instinct is considerably dominating in these years.

So doing something crazy is not bad, even when we grow up though what matters is you should be able to tell when to, how to and up to what limit, even realizing that you have a choice to say 'no' and sticking to it is crazy enough......You know deciding not to act crazy when given a choice is itself crazy in some crazy way!!Ok,trust me, I'm not drinking while writing this.....So in the end I would quote JD from Scrubs as he has said it better and in fewer words what I wanted to say......."I always assumed growing up happened automatically as you got older ..but its really something you have to choose to do......"

here's a fitting sequel to the story,its the 'next chapter' done by one of the sober ones.. :-P

A generation tussle ?

2007-10-23T23:55:00.000+05:30

For the older generation the new generation always appears less commited, less patriotic, too materialistic , too self-obsessed and what not.This is completely accepatable ,hell i don't know how pissed off i would be if my kids say that they're off to Mars for the weekend or something :-P...neway the point is Generation Gap's not only about 'amachya weli asa navhata' and 'ata te diwas gele' though somewhat irritatingly its definitely the most visible manifestation of it...:-P,:D. Its about knowing that because the circumstances are like A to Z different the things that were rational and 'good' in all senses of the word in those days might not be 'hip' or 'trendy' or whatever it is now.So in those days we as kids might have made the same calls that our parents did ,but the fact that we don't do that today itself means not that our mentality is different but we have adopted to this world just like they had done long bac and lets face it , its definitely won't be easy to adopt to or to assimilate something new in later life,right?

But hey,things are not that simple.We don't evolve in 50 years.Man if it took 5000 years for 'a tail' to vanish , think about all the cultural and social aspects that are unmistakably so closely tied up with our perceptions of 'being ethical' and 'being moral' that anything anyone does thats 'out of the ordinary' as they call it these days is frowned upon.

A scenario : group of 3 adult couples discussing about the 'apparent escapades' of the daughter of one of their NRI friends, They all agree that she is very intelligent and hardworking and homely (SHIT ,why is this still looked upon as a necessary quality of a girl...neway thats another hot( :P ) topic...lolzzz ) ,you know the whole nine yards.. :P( man why are such discussions invariably about girls? guess intelligent and hardworking together is too much for a guy to handle neway :P).So she has done engineering(s/w of course :P) ,has a good job.Fine things going smoothly right,now here comes the kicker.An year later,she realised that she no longer liked what she was doing she felt lost and helpless wondering whats going on.So she's decided to become a doctor(man a BIG KICK even for me).Thats it."This is completely stupid and irresponsible and ACHARAT",the unanimous agreement between all.Hell,even I agreed a bit....

But now,Im thinking whats wrong?I mean lets keep the money issue aside.She is at least honest enough to listen to her 'inner self' or whatever , she definitely takes her life seriously her career seriously so how come she's IRRESPONSIBLE or insane? Hell I don't know how many of us are honest enough about what we like and whether we are really happy in doing what we are doing.We hate slogging , we hate mugging up ,we hate those 8 hours of boring collages and everything,yet we do it.Some times we don't have a choice ..we have a responsibility to do something ,some of us might be accountable for others and hell we choose again and again the things that sometime later are going to make our life easy.Theres nothing wrong in this, not at all. Come on we even think twice before lying just so that our 'afterlife' in heaven is peaceful.So yes even though 'sacrifice' is a big word for all this , it somehow seems fitting,i dunno it does.So even the girl in the story is sacrificing something, maybe her belief of not to listen to herself honestly,wassay??

So here's my point, generation gap is a definite two-way traffic ,but not that both are going in opposite directions , both are heading the same way , its just 'the divider' is too big........yessss managed a bit poetic twist to end it pretty rudimentary though......lollzzzz....

Being Impulsively Impulsive

2007-09-09T23:51:00.000+05:30

Well no particular reason for the second order sentence i was just being impulsive.... :P Well i'm not exactly one of those lets-just-do-it-what-difference-does-it-makes types on the contrary actually....I'm the kind of guy who would rather delay making a decision that i am uncomfortable with to such an extent that situation will eventually make it for me..like bunking a lecture..take such a pathetically long time for deciding that finally ur so late that no
self-respecting teacher would allow me to sit neways.....man that was close...:D..yess i know its a bad quality, a very bad one in fact so the solution ... lets be Impulsive people....:D :D

Sometimes time doesn't give you a choice it constraints you,forces you,compels you ,you just can't run, you have to put your act together and do something ;this is not "impulsive" in a true sense.If u don't hurry u might just screw up everything there ..what happened to making a choice to be reckless,nope not here....So its when the situation doesn't necessarily demand and still u do it..thats the case im talking about...

Sometimes the mind sort of 'conditions' u to just go ahead and do it..Psychologically it might be the feeling that 'i've never been impulsive lets be one now'.tats just an attempt for self-redemption of some sort i guess might even be an ego boost or just a way to prove something.The main problem here is that when we r making the actual decision we'r not so concerned or bothered about the outcome ,we are only focussed around making a decision and even if we are serious about what would happen take solace in convincing ourselves hey it was impulsive u know..So its almost like we create a sort of cushioning to protect ourselves....... ..psychologically..

In a sense its paradoxial at its root..how can u be objectively,cool-headedly,thinking-it-over decide to be impulsive?I mean you are aware that there are plenty of chances that ur decision might just be completely disastrous that you might have to actually start agreeing a bit with ur friends about their view that 'this dude's completely off the rocker..',its the fact that you take into account all the consequences and everything and yet the actual decision making process must be impulsive..yess the consequences do form a major part of any decision making process
but u r not gonna think about WHAT the consequences are going to be as such, what you do is just tell urself that things may well be messed up later...i think when u do that u r not afraid to be impulsive or feel compulsive to be impulsive or feel a need to conveince urself that its OK to go wrong , u already know that thank you ... :-P

I think thats the point i wanted to make, being impulsive just for the sake of being one,not because time demands,not because others think ,not because u feel u should be at least by now, because in these cases u don't have a choice....and so u sulk,u complain(at least i definitely do.. :P)..and i know whats-the-use-of-doing-this-crap type of people might just find it stupid but i found it quite funny,entertaining and to some extend satisfying...

We were on Tekdi. About a couple of minutes after we reached 'Khaan'(20 minutes of walking....this definitely exceeds expectations epsecially on a Sunday :P) a friend said...'hey look over there thats ****'(i am not writing her name because our focus of attention changes every other day so whats the point) and the two of us just went back...not sitting a bit to enjoy the beautiful sunset and stupid enough to turn our back on the refreshing 'non-AC' wind ,just hurrying back as fast as we could only to later realise that we had of course missed her... :(
.. well even if we had caught up with her , we wouldn't have done nething but spare an occasional glance out of the corner of the eyes anyway .. but still.. ..So now we had no other option but to wait in the stuffy place near ARAI road for 30 minutes untill our friends come back( they weren't going to take pity on us and come back asap neways ) so in a nutshell it turned out to be a fiasco...And as we sat there laughing our way through those 30 minutes i realised that never once did i get a thought like 'maybe i shouldn't have done it'... Perhaps making the wrong decision for once didn't bothered me much..of course this is so much a trivial matter but even if i manage to extend at least 5% of that feeling in any important decisions that go wrong and theres a good chance that they do :P

..well here's to hope that i will.. :D:D...

Chakachak Chak De!

2007-08-18T20:48:00.000+05:30

Finally after Swades a movie of SRK that i can admit openly i liked, without being laughed at or looked upon as a sentimentalist. The king Khan's still got a long way to go it seems....as expected
:P

Entwining a tale about nationalism with a narrative focussed around the neglected state of the Indian women's Hockey team.Yes its old wine in a new bottle but definitely a better one. The tale about the stereotypical indifference,the discrimination,the so well-known gender bias is for the first time brought to the center stage with just the right amount of glamor.And SRK's definitely done a good job not only acting wise but even the "in-character" persona achieved is convincing.For one thing he doesn't shy away from those white hair from that beard of his...surely a wise decision ..

The identity ,culture issues are tackled reasonably well without any excessive SRK factor.And convincingly its the small things which matter and the movie definitely takes those into account..like after a hard session of practice the team must surely retire in a dingy bathroom,its only when the extraordinary happens that sponsors drop in to ride on their success,the awe that indian players feel after watching the australian babes (yeah.. :P) working out in a high-tech gym and even the fact that they won't stop bickering with the auto-wala even after winning the cup.. :P

At least what i think is one thing that Chak De might have done without are the constant jibes at cricket.The film blames cricket for the dire state of Hockey here.It might just be me but i got the feeling that the snobbish Indian vice-captain portrayed in the film was there to universalize this role for cricketers.

Thats what i felt.Chak De is unsuccessful in understanding why cricket has taken a surge over Hockey.And i agree with The Times of India ,the answer lies in the film itself - the timing of the growth of the sensationalist media especially around 1983 triumph.

All in all a good film. And yeah i was saving this for last.....Preeti Sabarwal a.k.a. Sagarika Ghatge(marathi ,sahi na!!) rox!!

One more Judgement Day down..(phew)

2007-08-12T22:03:00.000+05:30

well the result's finally out..and yesss 75% of engg is over..one more year of this and i'll b a graduate!!!an Engineer....by god's gracious gift (by god i also mean the university and others of course) this time i managed to become a UT yuppee ....congrats to ME!! ..seeing as this result hardly counts now that placments r over and barely 50% of the students actually turned up to collect the result at the prescribed hour...congratulating myself seemed a fair thing to do..neway im not one of those types who change their orkut names to "Topper" or something(no
offence meant here .. :P) i understood one thing yesterday its always a great deal of help to step back and look at yourself from your own point of view....

i dont mean the big introspection stuff here...come on, i dont think i can ever b completely unbiased when it comes to judging myself seeing as i can't even manage 2 b one about appraising the football club i support ... no i just meant LOOKING at yourself..to view where I stand...i mean come on two decades of life is over...and the ideas or the dreams i had are still hardly anything more than ideas and dreams only....

as it turns out there are many things to blame this on(excluding me of course.. :P)...i choose emmm...dunno all the things are so interconnected and follow one after the other that you'll just end up blaming everything on everything :P ...and the problem is for those hypocrites like me (:P) who are just gifted to find faults ....never seem to come up with a solution...while some say there is none..others claim that realising the problem itself is a step towards solution
(savvy eh?)

i feel the hitch is with the fact that 'the compulsive nature of our lives to continuing to
prove ourselves..constantly, relentlessly' it starts what like when u r 5 yrs of age i guess.the parents will have to give the interview first..this is complete bullshit at least in my opinion(screw the child psychologists)..then the 1st standard exam suddenly starts appearing like a great threat to our identity and worthy of giving up the playtime also..man its nobody's fault actually ...the peer pressure just climbs up recursively with infinite system stack space(well i gotta show i study somewhere right..:P)and this is with the external factors excluding

why is it that every exam and result day feels like friday the 13th and we no longer fear the actual one(:P come on wht could b worse than this huh?)i guess its wont change now...will go on becoming worse more likely...and no matter how much i brag about the evil nature of exams and stuff i must admit i am a firm follower of those...i do fear a little every exam,every prac an every oral an every class test(although these are bygones since engg stated)

so here's the crux of the post - whether the result's good or bad just look at the big picture...bcuz at least for me this is the only time when i do .. :P

and just like everything else regarding THIS matter ,even the post is turned out to be messy!! (exactly my point ,see...<:-) )

History Asphyxiated!!

2007-07-29T18:00:00.000+05:30

Learning or reading history just for the sake of it is probably wrong..one is supposed to read between the lines there..to assimilate the past doesn't mean to blindly remember the dates and the years but to know why these dates and the years are worth remembering.....neway retrospectively though telling history just for the sake of it would in my opinion be the right thing to do....i mean lets face it ..the manner in which history is told or the tone or the way of telling all these things make a difference in interpreting it..the point is not whether they make a good effect or bad the point is they destroy the main essence of learning history...u gotta make your own interpretations of things... i mean reading the allies' orchestrated books about Nazi psychology would hardly aim at capturing the real picture of the party( guess it would be more gruesome than normal beings like us could handle neway :P but still....)

So its probably the moral or ethical or whatever responsibility of the guys who have the liberty to decide what history to tell others ,its definitely for them to be more impartial...im not talking about the NCERT debate over their recent history book syllabus fiasco..hell nobody learns history from school books neways....

Couple of weeks ago i was in Delhi seating literally in the "middle of the Red Fort" surrounded by the grandeur of Mughal empire the "Diwanni-E-Khaas" making me just realise the meaning of the word "surreal" , heavenly. The much hyped light and music show was finally about to commence(just 20 minutes late..... no sweat :P).This is surely the center of India's history....the place still crowned to be the highest echelon when the Prime Minister gives his speech every Independence Day....What i expected was an unbiased,well documented story of history..but what followed was a total letdown here are few things that i found really disturbing -

1. No mention of Akbar...come on guys fine he wasn't a typical Mughal king ...he had Hindu and Rajput friends ,had quite an eye for the future....and he didn't kill that many people just for not being islamic....so you just delete the greatest Mughal king huh?

2. Shivaji sidetracked completely...i mean this is getting too much.....the Red Fort wasn't only about the Song and the dances and the Shayari ..hell it was a capital of a huge empire..doesn't history necessarily involve ups and down....

3. And the most disturbing fact..Nothing about Sadashiwarao Bhau Peshawa or even Ahamadashah Abdali...SHIT this is the limit..i mean wasn't the great battle of Panipat fought for the sole purpose of protecting Delhi from Abdali??It claimed millions and not just men.....But no the show spends 30 minutes of its 45 sickeningly about the Begmas and the diamonds (which were stolen later by Abdali himself) and the madira and how difficult it was to bring all the marble from Persia....wow this is history of Red Fort huh??

And the worst part is i could point out these things just because i know a little bit about Maharashtra's history....what about the Rajput's and the Jat's ...i mean whats the aim of giving such a lopsided view?? do they really think people don't know the enmity that existed or that a realistic account of history for once would be a political mistake??probably...people would rather shirk away from the truth than facing it....no problem i might also do the same thing who knows....
but for God's sake please let ME make that choice!! let me walk out....maybe indians just might prove to be better at handling the bloody past than everyone thinks.....

The End of a Great Era...........

2007-07-24T20:47:00.000+05:30

OK one fact before i begin anything.................
IM THE GREATEST FAN OF HARRY POTTER ..............................(means i'm probably one of the millions who think the same :P..LOLLLZZZ......)

I live HP,I talk HP, in short HP is in my blood(sort of like the Quidditch in harry's i guess...)

Anyway,
Rather than talk about the 7th book, since a few of my friends are still in progress, I have some thoughts about the series in general.

The thing that has most impressed me about the series has been the complexity. Characters aren't completely good or evil.(Move over फास्तर फेने ) Harry gets whiny and angsty, Ron is a bit of a jerk throughout the series. Fred and George can be disturbingly cold and calculating, Wormtail is more pathetic than bad, Draco is pitiable with hints of a truly ominous home life, etc. Too many books and movies, for kids and adults, shy away from complexity, as if we wouldn't get it if they didn't attached big "GOOD GUY" and "BAD GUY" signs to everything. The success of this series proves to me that people, especially kids, don't need things dumbed down like that.

I also really like the realism of it. Yes, the magic is outlandish, and yes, Hermione explaining the background of everything via "Hogwarts: A History" is frequently contrived, but for the most part the characters and their interactions with each other are very real.(Yeah this is the first time in my life that im criticising something remotely related to Hermione...never again though surely.......Its an unbreakable vow then.. ;P) I'm sure that everyone read some portion of Harry being locked in the cellar or his room by his family, or being ostracized and feared by his classmates, and didn't relate to his isolation on some level. Everyone, particularly at this age, feels alone, and Harry's story captured that feeling very well, even if in more extreme circumstances (hopefully!) than most of us have been though ourselves.

I'm incredibly impressed with J.K. R's attention to detail and patience. Hints are dropped and important points set up books in advance, and while I know there are some consistency errors here and there (with that many pages total in all the books, there would have to be!) she did a fantastic job of making all seven books a consistent whole. I mean i still remember the evening before the big day confidently agreeing with Praju that "all the questions from the first book are now definitely answered !!" Shit..... can anyone BE more mistaken(as Chandler would say ..... :P)

You know i don't even mind mocked for being so much into children's books ,the truth is HP series is not childrens' and it takes an adult to realise that(:P).........

The Beginning

2007-07-19T18:56:00.000+05:30

Let there be a blog and there was one...:P wow i wish it was that simple.well.. still, here goes nothing............

i find myself thinking, the only difficult fact about blogging is you get a feeling that you are sort of talking in front of invisible crowd...i mean i would rather prefer to have a look at their frowns rather than typing myself away into nothing neways if i start looking at it from a different perspective then it seems to be a good thing... yesss.... i can finally blabber about nething without caring a bit what the git in front of me thinks about it......kewl thought actually ..and its this tinsy little thought that finally made me write a post here (i had actually created this blog like a month ago but just couldn't bring myself to type down anything)

its like being taken to a GIJOE shop and told that i HAVE to buy something...i mean come on can't i just look around relishing the position of power that i can have whatever i want,the anxious look on the shopkeeper's face dreading about what the hell this guy wants, the moment you decide what u want the ball's no longer in your court.......

neway i'm not good with similes (or was it metaphor......forget it) and definitely not with philosophy and stuff (i guess its easy to find what you are bad at rather than what are you are good at :P)

well i don't know in what exact context the verb 'blogging' is used i mean now that i am starting a blog should I expect to receive a card saying 'happy blogging!!' or something ;P
well here's my neologism(don't worry about the word its the GRE aftermath...we all suffer from it...it'll wear off in a few weeks though :P )....................
its Salil's blog - Blog at your own risk....