वर्षांतर

[Updated]

"एक वर्ष झालं कि घोड्या!" शेवटच्या exam नंतर गोव्याला जाऊन ढोसलेल्या दारूचा वास जातो न जातो तोच job चालू झाला होता आणि आज, अक्षरशः बघता बघता एक वर्ष उलटलं कि! चार quarters, एक performance review, बारा महिने आणि ३६५ दिवस जगुन पण झाले च्यायला , मी officially म्हातारा पण झालो :P

Techinically सांगायचं तर २-३ आठवड्यापूर्वीच माझा हा वाला 'वाढदिवस' झाला - पण नेहमीप्रमाणे त्या दिवशी काहीच 'वाढ' झाल्यासारखं वाटलं नव्हतं - ते म्हणा कधीच वाटत नाही - पण काहीतरी विचित्र, वेगळ अस feeling पण नव्हतं - ते असं काहीतरी छोट्या छोट्या गोष्टींमधूनच कळत जातं - for example - friendship day :) तसं बघायला गेलं तर या वेळेला पण मागच्या वेळ सारखाच आणि मागच्या वेळ एवेढाच राडा आणि गोंधळ घातला पण मुद्दा असा कि मागच्या वर्षी आणि या वर्षी मी ज्या लोकांबरोबर होतो - ते २ sets अक्षरशः mutually exclusive होते - अर्थात एक दोन अपवाद सोडून ! आणि मग वाटून गेलं खरच केवढं बदललय सगळं, आतून बाहेतून! Stress points, pressure चे मुद्दे , दिनक्रम , body clock अगदी अथपासून इथिपर्यंत सगळं :-)

तसं बघायला गेलं तर कुठलाच बदल हा चांगला किंवा वाईट नसतो - तो फक्त अपरिहार्य असतो! आणि कितीही तयारी केली , कितीही मानसिक समजूत घालून ठेवली तरीसुद्धा कोण कुठल्या change ला कसा, कितपत adapt होईल हे काळच ठरवतो. लोकं म्हणतात कि बदल त्यांनाच मानवतो जे बदलायला तयार असतात - but i don't think its about being the fittest to survive the change, its about surviving the change to be the fittest. हे म्हणजे लाटा उसळणाऱ्या समुद्रात उभं राहण्यासारखं आहे. आपण एकाच जागी राहायचा ठरवलं तर आपल्याच नाका-तोंडात पाणी जाणार आपलीच चिडचिड होणार आणि main म्हणजे आपल्यालाच त्यांची मजा नाही अनुभवता येणार! त्याउलट जर आपण क्षणभर रोवलेले पाय सोडून तरंगायला तयार असलो, तर लाटांच्या लयीत वर खाली होणं काही फारसं अवगढ नसतं :) लाटा तर relentlessly येतंच राहणारेत - त्या थांबवण्याची क्षमता आपल्याकडे कधीच नव्हती - त्या आपल्यावर आदळतच राहणारेत - त्यांना आदळू द्यायचा का नाही हा option सुद्धा आपल्याकडे कधी नव्हताच - कधीच नसणारे....असो. :)

आता नवीन जॉब, नवीन माणसं, नवीन काम, नवीन जग - या सगळ्या tangible गोष्टी झाल्या - पण याचबरोबर खूप साऱ्या intangible गोष्टी पण आहेत ज्यांच्यामुळे i had a real blast this year!! अर्थात सगळ्याच, सगळ्यांना सांगण्यासारख्या नाहीत - पण at least काही factors तरी नक्की deserve करतात :) ->

1)"s/w मध्ये जॉब आहे" हे सांगितल्यावर उंचावणाऱ्या भुवया, अगदी थोडेसेच पण तरीही noticeable असे मिचमिचे झालेले डोळे , "हो का?" "बर बर" "छान हो" वगैरे घिसेपिटे responses आणि "हा पण त्यांच्या team मध्ये गेलेला दिसतोय" असं बोलणार ते कुत्सित हास्य - विशेषतः काका-काकू वयोगटातल्या लोकांचं - या सगळ्याची पहिल्यांदा सवय करून घ्यावी लागली :) तसं बघायचं तर मी s/w engineersच्या सेकण्ड generation मधला आहे असं म्हणायला हरकत नाही - त्यामुळे ' s/w चे लोक म्हणजे जास्त पगार मिळणारे आणि म्हणून स्वताला दीड शहाणे समजणारे ' हि समजूत आता रुजून कुजून जुनी झालीये - so तुका म्हणे याबद्दलचे वाद मला तरी फारसे सहन करायला लागले नाहीत.

2) माझ्या कंपनी च नाव - 'Marvell Semiconductors' -
"हि कुठली कंपनी बरं? तुला IBM/Infosys ची offer होती असं म्हणाला होतास ना? काय झालं त्याचं? तिकडं का बर नाही गेलास??" असं जेव्हा चेहऱ्यावर आर्त भाव आणून "कुठे आहेस तू" या प्रश्नाच्या माझ्या उत्तरावर लोक react करायचे तेव्हा खरच a little part of me used to die inside :) यात कुणाचीच काहीच चूक नाही - माझी मात्र पक्की विकेट गेलेली असायची!

3)चंगळवाद
वडा पाव २ चा ५, ५ चा १० आणि १० चा २० झालाय म्हणून कुरकुर काही थांबवली गेलेली नाही - फक्त आता वडा पाव खाण्याचं प्रमाण मात्र कमी झालंय . high-earning-high-spending-mall संस्कृती वगैरे वगैरे वादात मला पडायचंच नाहीये - किंवा rather ते नंतर कधीतरी - पण एक गोष्ट मात्र खरी - कि स्वत कमावलेले पैसे खर्च करताना जे भारी वाटतं ते शब्दात नाही सांगता येणार -
पैसे चांगल्या पद्धतीने, कसे खर्च करायचे हे खूप कमी लोकांना कळत, मान्य!
आहेत म्हणून फक्त दिसेल त्यावर पैसे खर्च करणं हा शुद्ध मूर्खपणा आहे, मान्य!
पण हि चंगळवादाची definition च नाही मुळी - हि तर नुसती 'चंगळ' झाली :P
चंगळवाद हा peer pressure नि येतो - "shit अजून आपल्याला Basho's कुठं हे माहिती नाही" , "अजून चांदणी चौकातल्या Apache मध्ये जायचं राहिलंय" - "आयला अजून Casanova मध्ये नाही गेलेलो" असं जेव्हा अगदी 'आतून' वाटायला लागत ना तेव्हा वेळ आलेली असते चंगळवाद join करण्याची! चंगळवाद हि म्हणून तर एक चळवळ आहे - joint effort - distributed system - असो चंगळवादाचा detailed manifesto नंतर कधीतरी :-P

4)Recession -
एखादं अवजड दार खालती पडून बंद होण्याच्या just आधी खालच्या फटीतून - निसटून वाचलेली batch - म्हणजे माझी batch! आम्ही s/w industry मध्ये पाऊल ठेवलं ना ठेवलं तोच recession चालू झालं - timing पण अगदी सुरेख जुळून आलं तसं आमचं! ३-४ महिन्यातच काहींचे जॉब गेले - ऑफिस मधल्या सगळ्या freebies बंद झाल्या - आणि नाही म्हटलं तरी एक tension च फिलिंग आलेलं असायचं - पण जाऊ दे - कदाचित हा पण एक lesson च होता - सुरुवातीलाच या पेशाचा भेसूर चेहरा बघायला मिळाला, असो :)

५) रोजच्या बोलण्यामध्ये आलेलं sophistication - म्हणजे असं निदान मला तरी वाटतंय -
'mail-a-mail-i' मध्ये येणारे references बाजूला ठेवले तरी बोलण्यामध्ये सुद्धा Thank you - sorry - thanks - वगैरे म्हणायचं प्रमाण वाढलंय - परवा तर चक्क मी movies आणि serials कॉपी करून घेतल्या नंतर एका मित्राला thank you म्हणालो - त्याला पण जरा चुकल्या चुकल्या सारखं झालं असेल :-P

तर म्हणता म्हणता एक वर्ष तरी survive झालंय बघू पुढे काय होतं ते - पुढचं पुढे :)

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वेदांग नि seriously मनावर घेऊन ह्या Post च English मध्ये भन्नाट translation केलेलं आहे - इथे .
धन्यवाद वेदांग!

नाटकीपणा - भाग एक

[Long Post]

खर सांगायच तर नाटकातल मला ओ-की-ठो कळत नाही। कॉलेज च्या काळात पुरुषोत्तम, फिरोदियाशी आपला सम्बन्ध फक्त जोरजोरात cheering करायला जाणे, घसा फोडून बोम्बलायला मिळणे आणि बाकीच्या colleges च्या पोरी बघायला जाणे एवढाच होता. आम्ही आपले बोरू-बहाद्दर - मारे हे पुस्तक वाचलय, ती कथा वाचलिये अस सांगत फिरणारे - असो. तर मुद्दा असा की भले आपल्याला एखाद्या विशयातल टिचभर जरी कळत असल तरी मनसोक्त, कुणाचीही तमा न बाळगता ते ज्ञान पाजळायला blog ही सोप्पी पळवाट आहे - नव्हे गेल्या काही महिन्यात असे हजारो self-proclaimed blogs वाचून हे गरजेचच आहे हे मला पटलय. अहो orkut, twitter एवढच blogger वरचा अकाउंट असण महत्वाच आहे अस म्हणतात लोक - तर मग अशाच एका blogger च वाक्य - त्याच्या परवानगीशिवाय ढापून मी वापरतो - ' अगदी पुण्यात बटाटे कुठे चांगले मिळतात तिथपासून ते Estonia च्या अर्थव्यवस्थेवर s/w industry recession चे उमटलेले पडसाद' यावर मी छातीठोकपणे मत मांडूनच राहणार! आणि म्हणूनच जरी भले माझे ५-६ मित्रच हा ब्लॉग वाचत असले ( च्यायला orkut आणि facebook वर अधाशासारखे friends add करून काही उपयोग होत नाही सांगतो ) तरी मारे greatBong वगैरे तत्सम कसलेल्या bloggers सारखं मी वरती 'Long Post' अस चावटपणे लिहिलंय हे सूज्ञांच्या लक्षात आल असेलच :-P

हा तर मुद्द्याची बात - नाटकं. गेल्या ३ आठवड्यांच्या कालावधीत मी पक्की '५' नाटकं बघितली. आता प्रायोगिक, experimental, artistic, aesthetic, भन्नाट, तुफान, layyyy bhaaarrrii, फोडलंय, एक वेगळीच संवेदनशीलता लागते अशी नाटकं बघायला, वगैरे सगळी विशेषणं लागू होतील अशी नाटक होती ती. खरं सांगायचं तर " झेपत असेल तर बघा नाहीतर उगाच नंतर कळलं नाही म्हणून शिव्या घालत रडत बसू नका " हा सुप्त encrypted अर्थ या सगळ्या विशेषणा मागे दडलाय हे मला अनुभवांती कळलंय आता. तसं बघायचं तर अशा नाटकांना 'spoilers' असा काही प्रकार नसतो - त्यामुळे तुम्ही हि नाटकं बघणार असाल किंवा बघणार नसाल, बघितली असतील किंवा नसतील, माझ्या विशेष टिप्पण्या (म्हणजे अचरटपणा) वाचून काही फरक पडेल असं मला वाटत नाही. Again, मला साहित्यिक बारकावे, theatrical भावभावना, artistic संवेदनशीलता वगैरे कळत नाही. मी आपला एक पोट सुटलेला, केस विरळ होत चाललेला, चंगळवादी संस्कृतीचा पामर s/w engineer आहे - अजाण अबोध बालक - आणि म्हणून हि बडबड सर्वतोपरी 'उथळ' आहे हे ओघानी आलच :-)

१. "आ जा मेरी गाडी में बैठ जा"
मी सुरुवातीला ठरवलं होता कि २-३ वाक्यात आधी नाटकाची theme सांगायची आणि मग पुढे जायचं पण देवाशप्पथ खरं सांगतो खोटं बोलत नाही - मला हे नाटक कशाबद्दल आहे, काय आहे, का आहे, purpose काय, जे घडतंय ते का घडतंय, कस, कुठे, कधी, का काहीच कळलं नाही. स्त्री-पुरुषांमधले संबंध - वेगवेगळ्या वयोगटातले , वेगवेगळ्या वयोगटातल्यांचे ; कालानुपरत्वे येणारा relationship मधला शीळेपणा; एका मर्यादेबाहेर एकमेकांना ''granted for' धरले जाणे; पोटतिडीकीने, तिरस्काराने दुसर्याला लागेल असे बोलणे आणि नुसते बोलणे नाही तर ते अक्षरशः ओरबाडून सांगणे; प्रेमात पडण्याची अधीरता, प्रेमात पडल्या नंतरची स्वताच स्वताची केलेली ससेहोलपट या आणि अशा अनेक भावनांचा नुसता भडीमार होतो. २ नच पात्र आहेत पण तरीही खूप loud, बटबटीत वाटत. पण त्याला कुठेच कथेचा एकसंधपणा नाही आणि अशी काहीच theme नसल्यानी नको तिकडे हशा मिळतो, हिरो नि shirt काढल्यावर शिट्ट्या मारणे वगैरे अचकट प्रकार चालू होतात आणि माणूस bore होतो. त्यात दीर्घांक. १२० minutes सलग.मला almost झोप लागली होती पण मित्रानी अगदी हातवारे वगैरे करून उठवलं म्हणून. त्यात हे कुठल्यातरी Russian का greek का egyptian कथेच नाट्यरूपांतर आहे - मला खरच लक्षात ठेवावं वाटलं नाही - कारण उगाच नंतर शोधून ती कथा वाचालीये वगैरे भानगडच नको म्हणल :)

2. "तू"
आत्तापर्यंत बरीच पारितोषिक मिळवलेलं आणि सर्वार्थानं नावलौकिक वगैरे असलेलं हे नाटक. विषय अर्थात प्रेम आणि लिहिलंय एका कवयित्री नि. कवीला कुठल्या डोळ्यांनी, कुठल्या चष्म्यातून, कुठल्या आवरणातून जग दिसत कोण जाणे - तासंतास बडबड केली तरी देखील शब्दात मांडता येणार नाहीत अशा भावना ज्यांना दहा ओळीत सुबकपणे बंदिस्त करता येतात त्यांना माझं seriously दंडवत. यात एक साधारण ५० कविता आहेत - गद्य स्वरुपात - अगदी slightly connected stories च्या format मध्ये गुंफलेल्या , arabic किंवा persian backdrop असलेल्या. नाटक सुरु होतं एका प्रियकर प्रेयसी च्या उत्कट प्रवेशापासून. नंतर खूप खूप प्रेम, विरह, दुख, मदिरा, बेधुन्दी, बेहोशी, स्वताला झोकून देणं, हरवून जाणं, जगाच्या आणि जीवाच्या अंतापर्यंत मी तुला शोधेन, मी तुझ्यासाठी थांबेन वगैरे सगळं होतं. कलाकार बरेच आहेत, सगळेच चांगले कसलेले, energetic आहेत. नाटक खिळवून नक्की ठेवतं पण मला असं कुठेतरी वाटलं कि हे लोकं कवितेचं interpretation आपल्यावर enforce करतायत - कविते मधली भावना त्यांच्या अभिनयानी नक्कीच जास्त 'ग्राफिक' स्वरुपात बाहेर येते - पण मग 'कविता भावली' हे जे feeling प्रत्येकाला येत कधी न कधी तरी एखादी कविता वाचल्यावर - जे प्रत्येकाचं वेगळं असतं, unique असतं आणि ते त्याच्या मानसिकतेशी जोडलेलं असतं - तेच कुठे तरी हरवून गेलं असं वाटतं.

असो आज एवढंच 'उंटावरून शेळ्या हकण'....... बाकिच नंतर

क्रमशः

सहजच

"पिछले सात दिनों में मैंने हे खोया...." ,
नाही नाही नको नको बोर जालय आता हे song , गाड़ी तल्या ४ पैकी तिघांच अस मत असल्यामुळे अणि भारतात लोकशाही असल्याने (म्हणजे थोडक्यात ती गाड़ी माजी नसल्याने) मला रेडियो चा channel change करावाच लागला तेवढ्यात एक वाक्य आलच " आयला एवढ्या सगळ्या गोष्टी या man नि एका week मध्ये हरवल्या - काय करत तरी काय होता" "अरे हरवल्या असतील आधीच कधीतरी - पण गूम आहेत हे समजल मागच्याच week मध्ये ...." प्रत्येक सॉफ्टवेर इंजिनियर ला आपण २४ तास १२ महीने logically विचार केलाच पाहिजे अस मनापासून वाटत जस रिक्शा वाल्यांना मगरूरी अणि पोलिसांना बेफिकिरी दाखवण्याची नैतिक जबाबदारी आहे अस वाटत त्यातलाच हा प्रकार. "आवरा!! " गाडीत आवरा म्हणायचा पेटंट माझ्याकडे आहे, "मुर्ख आहात तुम्ही मुलांनो, song चांगला आहे ना, ईइका आणि सोडून दया , आणि आत्ता नाही ते पण " मुली टोमणा मारण्याची एकही संधि वाया जाऊ देत नाहीत याचा हाअनखिन एक प्रत्यय अल्यानंटर, मी विचार केला च्यायला अवघ्या दोन वीक्स पूर्वी ऑफिस मध्ये आठ आठ तास ही गाणी एइक्नारे आम्ही लगेच बोर काय जालों....., असो, तर आता maaza निषेध व्यक्त करण्यासाठी मी मोबाइलमधला "जितियें अमुक अमुक" वगैरे तत्सम जहिरात्बाज़ मेसेज फुल आव आणून पर्सनल मेसेज असल्यासारखा वाचू लागलो. आता ही ट्रिक पण जुनी जालिये पण अजुनही प्रूवन जालिम आहे :-) "के डोला रे डोला रे डोला ....." कुणीच विरोध न केल्यामुले silence is acceptance नुसार मी Radio-"DJ" गिरी बंद केलि अणि खिडकितुनबाहेर बघू लागलो, नाउ साडे नाऊ ची वेल त्यात range hills चा रस्ता, आजुबाजुला हिरवगार अणि traffic नाही.....प्लस friday night. तसही एकुणच शुक्रवारी रात्रि adrenalin level जरा वाढलेली असतेच ..........
कॉलेज नि LC दिला परवा , एका मित्राचा dilogue जालाच 'आता कसा कॉलेज नि डिवोर्स दिल्यासारखा वाटतयमहिना थोडेसे दया आता फक्त म्हनाव कॉलेज ला की जालच :-P ' हसाव का रडाव या वाक्यावर हे न समजल्यामुलेसगळे हसलेच होते .....friends च्या catagories मध्ये आता 'दोस्त' , 'कॉलेज ग्रुप' ,'शालेतला ग्रुप' , 'girlfriends' (मी optimistic आहे, या catagory मध्ये कोणी नसल तरी अशी catagory सुद्धा ठेवू नए हा कुठला न्याय :-P ), 'we are just good friends' (निदान यात तरी कोणीतरी पाहिजे - पण इयत्ता आठवी पासून एकच उत्तर आहे - work in progress :-) ) या नेहमीच्या सोडून colleagues अशी नवीन "टीम" तयार zaliye :-P आपल्याला पाच दिवस फुकट gilayala मिळणार यातल अपरूप संपलय, "मेरा ऑफिस 16km दूर है " या वाक्यातला तर दमच गेलाय सगला.....माणुस किती लवकर adapt होतो.... weekend ला दिवसभर zopa काढण्याची सवय शरीराला व्ह्यायला एकच weekend पुरला A।C। हा maza जन्मसिद्थ हक्क आहे हे पक्क zala। headphones, cell, cell cha charger, laptop,tyacha charger,LAN wires अस आयुष्य 'wiry' zalay पण शरीर मात्र गोलाई च्या रस्त्यानी चाललय :P
"काय रे खयालोमें डूबा एकदम," बरोबर आहे, song संपून १० सेकंड्स होउन गेले तरी मी अजुन channel change केला नव्हता (ही माजी खासियत आहे) सगल्या चैनल्स वर हिमेशभाई अपला "Karzzz" fedat आहे हे लक्षातआल, SFM वाले बिचारे "नवनिर्माण" mule दर तीन songs मध्ये एक तरी मराठी लाव्तातच पण ती बहुतेक गाणी अगम्य असतात म्हणुन ते पण गेल, शेवटी Sindbad the Sailor कुठेतरी सापडल "दुसरीकडे कुठेच काही नाहीये सो......" मी मिस्किलपणे (obviously) , एक सार्वजनिक उसासा......and we Rocked on..........

Dilemma

I had always been a great ' एसाप्नीती ' fan - you know the little - 100 or so - word stories which aim at teaching something 'worthwhile' and 'teach lessons of life' and blah blah.... well neway i used to find the stories pretty amusing & without any forwarded emails back then where else would one find short & sweet way to pass time? So the thing is, yesterday, during 'the purge' of my room i came across the book and there was one story, heavily titled 'existential dilemma' (don't even ask what its marathi counterpart - that is the actual title was, i conveniently ignored it ;-) ) So here's the story -

A man is running hard to escape a hungry tiger. He tumbles in panic and rolls off a valley. He is falling to what promises to be a certain death in the gorge below, when he just manages to clutch at a small tree that is growing on the rock face( see even 'original' hindi films have their climaxes copied :-P ). He hangs there for dear life. The choice is a bleak one. Above him is a hungry tiger and below him is a deep gorge. There is death on both sides. Just then, the dangling man’s eyes fall upon an 'abandoned' beehive that is a few feet above the tree that he is frantically hanging on to. There is honey dripping from the beehive. The man shuts his eyes and puts his tongue out to catch the sweet honey. It is his moment of fleeting bliss!

The story ends here! Wow, humans are a contemptible lot, damn it, at least Essop definitely was!

Well ,these days I have lots of time to kill, so you know why not learn something about 'existence' and all , I think there are two basic explanations, pretty obvious ones -

(1) Here is this man facing a certain death and, even then, all he can think of is petty satisfaction of his senses. The story tries to show what trivial levels men can sink to even in the face of worthy challenges.

(2)The other explanation is that the human condition is hopeless anyway. We are caught between the tiger and the gorge. It is the drops of honey that make our lives worth living( full SRK sentiments :-P ).

I favour the second analysis,obviously, though I worry that the first one is correct and I am merely rationalizing - something that that we all do - something which sounds better than compromising.

Also,while imagining the situation I found myself looking ridiculous, you know head extended, mouth open, eyes shut, waiting for honey to fall.Won't it be easy to just let go?

P.I.C.T. - एक पर्व

'Don't shout in the exam hall damn it take it outside!!'..... shit, let these not be the last words that a teacher ever said to me....
i am feeling dizzy here,my hands are shaking ,i
want to shout,scream,yell on top of my voice,yet
i feel stupid i don't even know what i want to do,i am not sure what i am trying to express and what is being expressed, i want to be with my friends but at the same time i want to be left alone with my thoughts,my memories and yet i sway with the crowd, do the stupid dance and curse and scream like its the end of the world..i don't want to let go of the euphoria but the feeling is still here,every handshake,every hug, i wish it wasn't the last but it is and its at that particular instant of letting go that it hits me,it hits me hard,so I try to scream louder, try to jump higher,punching the air endlessly not wishing to stop..man the feeling's still there, a pit in the stomach , a tremble thats refusing to go away, a nostalgic shadow thats slowly,very slowly making me realise its THE END no more tricks, no more games it ends here,now....Before i realise an hour's gone and i am heading home...OMG i forgot to have a last look at the college gates ,receding...like i always wanted to...i turn around,i am speeding away, i crane my neck, i try my best,oh come on.... why can't i see it...its gone, i've come too far now..........

I don't know what im gonna miss most or whether i'll ever be able to point out that this is the thing i miss, maybe its everything, maybe its nothing....four years, four loong years, so many things happened, so many things changed, so many new people,friends....and here i am at the other end looking back,trying to make sense of the jumbled up memories,trying to figure out how it shaped my life, how it shaped me......

I remember the times(and there were quite a few :P) when i had cursed the college,cursed me for my choices,cursed everything,blamed everything to college and yet i know now,in fact i guess i always knew that this would be the place i would cherish the most,i would miss the most...there have been so many things...good, bad, worse, perfect, ectastic!, irritating, frustrating, stressful, seemingly unending, positively dreadful....and like everyone else i've had my share of good and bad things, but right now,at this point i feel.....'content', grateful that it happened,thankful that i got a chance to 'live it'

Well im gonna try my best to hang on to these things,never forget what it was like,never forget how it felt an hour before graphics or ACAC exam, never fade out the dread that used to fill up my insides just before picking up 'problem chit' in practicals,the trembles that i used to feel while signing my name on the result attendance sheet with the result lying just a few inches & seconds away...........now i understand how Akash in DCH would have felt when he looks at those college students goofing around...its never going to be the same not in PG or anything.....all i can think is.....

"Chal Apulech Asane Ata Durun Pahuu....................................."

------------------------------------------------------------Pic-- courtesy - Nachiket( :) )

A SOAPY Affair!!

I absolutely have never managed to understand whats the deal with these soaps,i mean come on, barring aside the 200 years old grandmas and the 10kg makeup on a 40kg body and the ridiculously blunt thrashing of instruments that they call music,a wisp of a storyline, completely satanic vamps and so-well-behaved (read idiot and with zero self respect) bahus and extremely spoilt children, these so called family dramas rope in such a strong viewing that I am literally starting to think whether theres some big picture over there that i am honestly not able to grasp.

Actually on a TV show I saw Ekta Kapoor giving such mouth-shutting and prompt replies that I admit I was quite impressed, she is not so stupid after all then. She says its for
people to get away from their daily hassles ,fine so you tell them a story which has so many
glitches and hitches that they'll end up thinking,'at least my life is definitely better than
this',kewl accepted,people do end up feeling better if they see someone else who is in much
more trouble than they are,Ekta-1,Me-0.

Then she goes on saying that things are dumbed down and storyline is made mildly predictable because people after their day of hard work wouldn't want to strain their brains much and expect a straightforward recreation,Ok.Then show them Tom,Jerry na,will work better,and whos to guarantee that the deadly characters in her soaps won't give more headache? And a touch of mystery or thrill doesn't necessarily tire one down on the contrary it might revitalise the mind.Deadpan plots might just end up making us feel more droopy sucking out all the will to do anything after one episode....OOhhhHHkkkk so thats the trick you will lose the will to get up,to change channels and the next serial begins in a second, wow hats off,I really hadn't seen this coming,Ekta-2,Me-0.

Finally,she says it bridges generation gap,WHAT?? Aunties and gradmas see young people romancing and the concept of girlfriend,boyfriend is made clearer to them like how they behave and talk to each other and all making the aunties more liberal minded,Holy cow,now I am completely out cold.Shahrukh Khan has been trying to do the same thing for 20 years and only thing he has managed to do is to make girls think that boyfriends have to behave like he does in his films.Should a love story MUST have some family opposition and the girl or boy being spoilt at first ,usually the boy ,with him suddenly becoming an angelic person after marriage because of the 'tyaag of bahu'.At least the bits and pieces that I have seen the supposedly young people portrayed there DO NOT behave the way a sane young person would behave.Ok I am taking this one to save me the shame..Ekta-2 Me-1.

Of course,things are changing and they will hopefully and there have been a few good exceptions at least marathi ones that I have come across but right now lets just hope the
American Writers Association Strike ends soon and we can get back on the usual dosage of the
Prison Break,Lost and many... :-P

But I can't help thinking,I just can't that Ekta Kapoor might end up criticising these
shows better than I have managed hers..:-P

Fred : "Just a couple of drops of Ageing Potion would do "

In Potterworld you come of age at 17 only.Savvy,eh? In India though, you have to be at least 18 to have that feel of 'a legitimate teenager',well, if not in India then at least in Pune or hell at least in my case definitely! Neway the thing is when you are 21,have a decent job offer in hand(apparently!) and at least a cloudy,hazy shape of an idea of what your next 2-3 years are going to be you tend to feel a little 'grown up',start having those ideas about breaking out of the caccoon and doing something 'grown up' style...the best time to do it would definitely be the end of a yet another loong,tiring exam...Well here's a scene of how i think one of those ..hhmmmm...."events" would go, mind you there are no names mentioned, its almost imaginary but unlike every other imaginations this might just have a bit too much of a realistic base,its almost like it has happened.....<:-P ....

The Players :-

the guy who-thinks-he-is-not-drunk-but-he-is-a-little-bit

the guy who-wants-to-avoid-puking-at-all-costs.....past experiences do count,see... sigh...a lost cause in the end though

the guy who-is-dead-drunk-and-wants-to-prove-that-he-is-not-that-drunk

the guy who-has-had-maximum-to-drink-and-yet-shows-no-visible-'effects' ....obviously the one who everyone else secretely envies....

the Host who himself doesn't drink but doesn't mind others drinking in his house when-parents-are-gone
......one couldn't have wished for a better set-up,
a place just waiting to be trashed down,wassay?

and lastly the guy who doesn't like drinking but is present there to see others get drunk and have himself a few good laughs....

Now with this stage set,how would the events unfold....predictably i guess...there would be the unmistakable thrashing of all past bad teachers and proffessors...the nostalgic moments of bunked lectures and 'worst till' submissions,remembering again about the narrow escapes from teachers,lab assistants and hell even traffic police, and of course last but not the least 'girls'!! Well the two guys who are not drinking would have 'a considerable advantage' over others of being able to steer conversation away from their 'muses' without others realising it quickly :-P.And once the "4 Musketeers" are enough overwhelmed, man the two sane ones could just make them dance,sing,sit on stupid stools ,something that they as 'grown ups' would rather avoid....In the end though it might just unintentionally take a wrong turn and someone might just end up crying as he could no longer keep the conflicting emotions bottled up....

Is this growing up? Or is this wrong on all possible levels?Well i'm not talking about whether drinking is Ok or not ,its a different ball game completely and what I think about drinking isn't going to change anyone else's opinion about it nor do I want to. Secondly, 'I haven't done this till today so I must do it at least once' instinct is considerably dominating in these years.

So doing something crazy is not bad, even when we grow up though what matters is you should be able to tell when to, how to and up to what limit, even realizing that you have a choice to say 'no' and sticking to it is crazy enough......You know deciding not to act crazy when given a choice is itself crazy in some crazy way!!Ok,trust me, I'm not drinking while writing this.....So in the end I would quote JD from Scrubs as he has said it better and in fewer words what I wanted to say......."I always assumed growing up happened automatically as you got older ..but its really something you have to choose to do......"

here's a fitting sequel to the story,its the 'next chapter' done by one of the sober ones.. :-P

A generation tussle ?

For the older generation the new generation always appears less commited, less patriotic, too materialistic , too self-obsessed and what not.This is completely accepatable ,hell i don't know how pissed off i would be if my kids say that they're off to Mars for the weekend or something :-P...neway the point is Generation Gap's not only about 'amachya weli asa navhata' and 'ata te diwas gele' though somewhat irritatingly its definitely the most visible manifestation of it...:-P,:D. Its about knowing that because the circumstances are like A to Z different the things that were rational and 'good' in all senses of the word in those days might not be 'hip' or 'trendy' or whatever it is now.So in those days we as kids might have made the same calls that our parents did ,but the fact that we don't do that today itself means not that our mentality is different but we have adopted to this world just like they had done long bac and lets face it , its definitely won't be easy to adopt to or to assimilate something new in later life,right?

But hey,things are not that simple.We don't evolve in 50 years.Man if it took 5000 years for 'a tail' to vanish , think about all the cultural and social aspects that are unmistakably so closely tied up with our perceptions of 'being ethical' and 'being moral' that anything anyone does thats 'out of the ordinary' as they call it these days is frowned upon.

A scenario : group of 3 adult couples discussing about the 'apparent escapades' of the daughter of one of their NRI friends, They all agree that she is very intelligent and hardworking and homely (SHIT ,why is this still looked upon as a necessary quality of a girl...neway thats another hot( :P ) topic...lolzzz ) ,you know the whole nine yards.. :P( man why are such discussions invariably about girls? guess intelligent and hardworking together is too much for a guy to handle neway :P).So she has done engineering(s/w of course :P) ,has a good job.Fine things going smoothly right,now here comes the kicker.An year later,she realised that she no longer liked what she was doing she felt lost and helpless wondering whats going on.So she's decided to become a doctor(man a BIG KICK even for me).Thats it."This is completely stupid and irresponsible and ACHARAT",the unanimous agreement between all.Hell,even I agreed a bit....

But now,Im thinking whats wrong?I mean lets keep the money issue aside.She is at least honest enough to listen to her 'inner self' or whatever , she definitely takes her life seriously her career seriously so how come she's IRRESPONSIBLE or insane? Hell I don't know how many of us are honest enough about what we like and whether we are really happy in doing what we are doing.We hate slogging , we hate mugging up ,we hate those 8 hours of boring collages and everything,yet we do it.Some times we don't have a choice ..we have a responsibility to do something ,some of us might be accountable for others and hell we choose again and again the things that sometime later are going to make our life easy.Theres nothing wrong in this, not at all. Come on we even think twice before lying just so that our 'afterlife' in heaven is peaceful.So yes even though 'sacrifice' is a big word for all this , it somehow seems fitting,i dunno it does.So even the girl in the story is sacrificing something, maybe her belief of not to listen to herself honestly,wassay??

So here's my point, generation gap is a definite two-way traffic ,but not that both are going in opposite directions , both are heading the same way , its just 'the divider' is too big........yessss managed a bit poetic twist to end it pretty rudimentary though......lollzzzz....

Being Impulsively Impulsive

Well no particular reason for the second order sentence i was just being impulsive.... :P Well i'm not exactly one of those lets-just-do-it-what-difference-does-it-makes types on the contrary actually....I'm the kind of guy who would rather delay making a decision that i am uncomfortable with to such an extent that situation will eventually make it for me..like bunking a lecture..take such a pathetically long time for deciding that finally ur so late that no
self-respecting teacher would allow me to sit neways.....man that was close...:D..yess i know its a bad quality, a very bad one in fact so the solution ... lets be Impulsive people....:D :D

Sometimes time doesn't give you a choice it constraints you,forces you,compels you ,you just can't run, you have to put your act together and do something ;this is not "impulsive" in a true sense.If u don't hurry u might just screw up everything there ..what happened to making a choice to be reckless,nope not here....So its when the situation doesn't necessarily demand and still u do it..thats the case im talking about...

Sometimes the mind sort of 'conditions' u to just go ahead and do it..Psychologically it might be the feeling that 'i've never been impulsive lets be one now'.tats just an attempt for self-redemption of some sort i guess might even be an ego boost or just a way to prove something.The main problem here is that when we r making the actual decision we'r not so concerned or bothered about the outcome ,we are only focussed around making a decision and even if we are serious about what would happen take solace in convincing ourselves hey it was impulsive u know..So its almost like we create a sort of cushioning to protect ourselves....... ..psychologically..

In a sense its paradoxial at its root..how can u be objectively,cool-headedly,thinking-it-over decide to be impulsive?I mean you are aware that there are plenty of chances that ur decision might just be completely disastrous that you might have to actually start agreeing a bit with ur friends about their view that 'this dude's completely off the rocker..',its the fact that you take into account all the consequences and everything and yet the actual decision making process must be impulsive..yess the consequences do form a major part of any decision making process
but u r not gonna think about WHAT the consequences are going to be as such, what you do is just tell urself that things may well be messed up later...i think when u do that u r not afraid to be impulsive or feel compulsive to be impulsive or feel a need to conveince urself that its OK to go wrong , u already know that thank you ... :-P

I think thats the point i wanted to make, being impulsive just for the sake of being one,not because time demands,not because others think ,not because u feel u should be at least by now, because in these cases u don't have a choice....and so u sulk,u complain(at least i definitely do.. :P)..and i know whats-the-use-of-doing-this-crap type of people might just find it stupid but i found it quite funny,entertaining and to some extend satisfying...

We were on Tekdi. About a couple of minutes after we reached 'Khaan'(20 minutes of walking....this definitely exceeds expectations epsecially on a Sunday :P) a friend said...'hey look over there thats ****'(i am not writing her name because our focus of attention changes every other day so whats the point) and the two of us just went back...not sitting a bit to enjoy the beautiful sunset and stupid enough to turn our back on the refreshing 'non-AC' wind ,just hurrying back as fast as we could only to later realise that we had of course missed her... :(
.. well even if we had caught up with her , we wouldn't have done nething but spare an occasional glance out of the corner of the eyes anyway .. but still.. ..So now we had no other option but to wait in the stuffy place near ARAI road for 30 minutes untill our friends come back( they weren't going to take pity on us and come back asap neways ) so in a nutshell it turned out to be a fiasco...And as we sat there laughing our way through those 30 minutes i realised that never once did i get a thought like 'maybe i shouldn't have done it'... Perhaps making the wrong decision for once didn't bothered me much..of course this is so much a trivial matter but even if i manage to extend at least 5% of that feeling in any important decisions that go wrong and theres a good chance that they do :P

..well here's to hope that i will.. :D:D...

Chakachak Chak De!

Finally after Swades a movie of SRK that i can admit openly i liked, without being laughed at or looked upon as a sentimentalist. The king Khan's still got a long way to go it seems....as expected
:P

Entwining a tale about nationalism with a narrative focussed around the neglected state of the Indian women's Hockey team.Yes its old wine in a new bottle but definitely a better one. The tale about the stereotypical indifference,the discrimination,the so well-known gender bias is for the first time brought to the center stage with just the right amount of glamor.And SRK's definitely done a good job not only acting wise but even the "in-character" persona achieved is convincing.For one thing he doesn't shy away from those white hair from that beard of his...surely a wise decision ..

The identity ,culture issues are tackled reasonably well without any excessive SRK factor.And convincingly its the small things which matter and the movie definitely takes those into account..like after a hard session of practice the team must surely retire in a dingy bathroom,its only when the extraordinary happens that sponsors drop in to ride on their success,the awe that indian players feel after watching the australian babes (yeah.. :P) working out in a high-tech gym and even the fact that they won't stop bickering with the auto-wala even after winning the cup.. :P

At least what i think is one thing that Chak De might have done without are the constant jibes at cricket.The film blames cricket for the dire state of Hockey here.It might just be me but i got the feeling that the snobbish Indian vice-captain portrayed in the film was there to universalize this role for cricketers.

Thats what i felt.Chak De is unsuccessful in understanding why cricket has taken a surge over Hockey.And i agree with The Times of India ,the answer lies in the film itself - the timing of the growth of the sensationalist media especially around 1983 triumph.

All in all a good film. And yeah i was saving this for last.....Preeti Sabarwal a.k.a. Sagarika Ghatge(marathi ,sahi na!!) rox!!