Sunday, June 22, 2008


I had always been a great ' एसाप्नीती ' fan - you know the little - 100 or so - word stories which aim at teaching something 'worthwhile' and 'teach lessons of life' and blah blah.... well neway i used to find the stories pretty amusing & without any forwarded emails back then where else would one find short & sweet way to pass time? So the thing is, yesterday, during 'the purge' of my room i came across the book and there was one story, heavily titled 'existential dilemma' (don't even ask what its marathi counterpart - that is the actual title was, i conveniently ignored it ;-) ) So here's the story -

A man is running hard to escape a hungry tiger. He tumbles in panic and rolls off a valley. He is falling to what promises to be a certain death in the gorge below, when he just manages to clutch at a small tree that is growing on the rock face( see even 'original' hindi films have their climaxes copied :-P ). He hangs there for dear life. The choice is a bleak one. Above him is a hungry tiger and below him is a deep gorge. There is death on both sides. Just then, the dangling man’s eyes fall upon an 'abandoned' beehive that is a few feet above the tree that he is frantically hanging on to. There is honey dripping from the beehive. The man shuts his eyes and puts his tongue out to catch the sweet honey. It is his moment of fleeting bliss!

The story ends here! Wow, humans are a contemptible lot, damn it, at least Essop definitely was!

Well ,these days I have lots of time to kill, so you know why not learn something about 'existence' and all , I think there are two basic explanations, pretty obvious ones -

(1) Here is this man facing a certain death and, even then, all he can think of is petty satisfaction of his senses. The story tries to show what trivial levels men can sink to even in the face of worthy challenges.

(2)The other explanation is that the human condition is hopeless anyway. We are caught between the tiger and the gorge. It is the drops of honey that make our lives worth living( full SRK sentiments :-P ).

I favour the second analysis,obviously, though I worry that the first one is correct and I am merely rationalizing - something that that we all do - something which sounds better than compromising.

Also,while imagining the situation I found myself looking ridiculous, you know head extended, mouth open, eyes shut, waiting for honey to fall.Won't it be easy to just let go?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

P.I.C.T. - एक पर्व

'Don't shout in the exam hall damn it take it outside!!'..... shit, let these not be the last words that a teacher ever said to me....
i am feeling dizzy here,my hands are shaking ,i
want to shout,scream,yell on top of my voice,yet
i feel stupid i don't even know what i want to do,i am not sure what i am trying to express and what is being expressed, i want to be with my friends but at the same time i want to be left alone with my thoughts,my memories and yet i sway with the crowd, do the stupid dance and curse and scream like its the end of the world..i don't want to let go of the euphoria but the feeling is still here,every handshake,every hug, i wish it wasn't the last but it is and its at that particular instant of letting go that it hits me,it hits me hard,so I try to scream louder, try to jump higher,punching the air endlessly not wishing to the feeling's still there, a pit in the stomach , a tremble thats refusing to go away, a nostalgic shadow thats slowly,very slowly making me realise its THE END no more tricks, no more games it ends here,now....Before i realise an hour's gone and i am heading home...OMG i forgot to have a last look at the college gates , i always wanted to...i turn around,i am speeding away, i crane my neck, i try my best,oh come on.... why can't i see it...its gone, i've come too far now..........

I don't know what im gonna miss most or whether i'll ever be able to point out that this is the thing i miss, maybe its everything, maybe its nothing....four years, four loong years, so many things happened, so many things changed, so many new people,friends....and here i am at the other end looking back,trying to make sense of the jumbled up memories,trying to figure out how it shaped my life, how it shaped me......

I remember the times(and there were quite a few :P) when i had cursed the college,cursed me for my choices,cursed everything,blamed everything to college and yet i know now,in fact i guess i always knew that this would be the place i would cherish the most,i would miss the most...there have been so many things...good, bad, worse, perfect, ectastic!, irritating, frustrating, stressful, seemingly unending, positively dreadful....and like everyone else i've had my share of good and bad things, but right now,at this point i feel.....'content', grateful that it happened,thankful that i got a chance to 'live it'

Well im gonna try my best to hang on to these things,never forget what it was like,never forget how it felt an hour before graphics or ACAC exam, never fade out the dread that used to fill up my insides just before picking up 'problem chit' in practicals,the trembles that i used to feel while signing my name on the result attendance sheet with the result lying just a few inches & seconds i understand how Akash in DCH would have felt when he looks at those college students goofing around...its never going to be the same not in PG or anything.....all i can think is.....

"Chal Apulech Asane Ata Durun Pahuu....................................."

------------------------------------------------------------Pic-- courtesy - Nachiket( :) )