P.I.C.T. - एक पर्व

'Don't shout in the exam hall damn it take it outside!!'..... shit, let these not be the last words that a teacher ever said to me....
i am feeling dizzy here,my hands are shaking ,i
want to shout,scream,yell on top of my voice,yet
i feel stupid i don't even know what i want to do,i am not sure what i am trying to express and what is being expressed, i want to be with my friends but at the same time i want to be left alone with my thoughts,my memories and yet i sway with the crowd, do the stupid dance and curse and scream like its the end of the world..i don't want to let go of the euphoria but the feeling is still here,every handshake,every hug, i wish it wasn't the last but it is and its at that particular instant of letting go that it hits me,it hits me hard,so I try to scream louder, try to jump higher,punching the air endlessly not wishing to stop..man the feeling's still there, a pit in the stomach , a tremble thats refusing to go away, a nostalgic shadow thats slowly,very slowly making me realise its THE END no more tricks, no more games it ends here,now....Before i realise an hour's gone and i am heading home...OMG i forgot to have a last look at the college gates ,receding...like i always wanted to...i turn around,i am speeding away, i crane my neck, i try my best,oh come on.... why can't i see it...its gone, i've come too far now..........

I don't know what im gonna miss most or whether i'll ever be able to point out that this is the thing i miss, maybe its everything, maybe its nothing....four years, four loong years, so many things happened, so many things changed, so many new people,friends....and here i am at the other end looking back,trying to make sense of the jumbled up memories,trying to figure out how it shaped my life, how it shaped me......

I remember the times(and there were quite a few :P) when i had cursed the college,cursed me for my choices,cursed everything,blamed everything to college and yet i know now,in fact i guess i always knew that this would be the place i would cherish the most,i would miss the most...there have been so many things...good, bad, worse, perfect, ectastic!, irritating, frustrating, stressful, seemingly unending, positively dreadful....and like everyone else i've had my share of good and bad things, but right now,at this point i feel.....'content', grateful that it happened,thankful that i got a chance to 'live it'

Well im gonna try my best to hang on to these things,never forget what it was like,never forget how it felt an hour before graphics or ACAC exam, never fade out the dread that used to fill up my insides just before picking up 'problem chit' in practicals,the trembles that i used to feel while signing my name on the result attendance sheet with the result lying just a few inches & seconds away...........now i understand how Akash in DCH would have felt when he looks at those college students goofing around...its never going to be the same not in PG or anything.....all i can think is.....

"Chal Apulech Asane Ata Durun Pahuu....................................."

------------------------------------------------------------Pic-- courtesy - Nachiket( :) )