P.I.C.T. - एक पर्व

'Don't shout in the exam hall damn it take it outside!!'..... shit, let these not be the last words that a teacher ever said to me....
i am feeling dizzy here,my hands are shaking ,i
want to shout,scream,yell on top of my voice,yet
i feel stupid i don't even know what i want to do,i am not sure what i am trying to express and what is being expressed, i want to be with my friends but at the same time i want to be left alone with my thoughts,my memories and yet i sway with the crowd, do the stupid dance and curse and scream like its the end of the world..i don't want to let go of the euphoria but the feeling is still here,every handshake,every hug, i wish it wasn't the last but it is and its at that particular instant of letting go that it hits me,it hits me hard,so I try to scream louder, try to jump higher,punching the air endlessly not wishing to stop..man the feeling's still there, a pit in the stomach , a tremble thats refusing to go away, a nostalgic shadow thats slowly,very slowly making me realise its THE END no more tricks, no more games it ends here,now....Before i realise an hour's gone and i am heading home...OMG i forgot to have a last look at the college gates ,receding...like i always wanted to...i turn around,i am speeding away, i crane my neck, i try my best,oh come on.... why can't i see it...its gone, i've come too far now..........

I don't know what im gonna miss most or whether i'll ever be able to point out that this is the thing i miss, maybe its everything, maybe its nothing....four years, four loong years, so many things happened, so many things changed, so many new people,friends....and here i am at the other end looking back,trying to make sense of the jumbled up memories,trying to figure out how it shaped my life, how it shaped me......

I remember the times(and there were quite a few :P) when i had cursed the college,cursed me for my choices,cursed everything,blamed everything to college and yet i know now,in fact i guess i always knew that this would be the place i would cherish the most,i would miss the most...there have been so many things...good, bad, worse, perfect, ectastic!, irritating, frustrating, stressful, seemingly unending, positively dreadful....and like everyone else i've had my share of good and bad things, but right now,at this point i feel.....'content', grateful that it happened,thankful that i got a chance to 'live it'

Well im gonna try my best to hang on to these things,never forget what it was like,never forget how it felt an hour before graphics or ACAC exam, never fade out the dread that used to fill up my insides just before picking up 'problem chit' in practicals,the trembles that i used to feel while signing my name on the result attendance sheet with the result lying just a few inches & seconds away...........now i understand how Akash in DCH would have felt when he looks at those college students goofing around...its never going to be the same not in PG or anything.....all i can think is.....

"Chal Apulech Asane Ata Durun Pahuu....................................."

------------------------------------------------------------Pic-- courtesy - Nachiket( :) )

A SOAPY Affair!!

I absolutely have never managed to understand whats the deal with these soaps,i mean come on, barring aside the 200 years old grandmas and the 10kg makeup on a 40kg body and the ridiculously blunt thrashing of instruments that they call music,a wisp of a storyline, completely satanic vamps and so-well-behaved (read idiot and with zero self respect) bahus and extremely spoilt children, these so called family dramas rope in such a strong viewing that I am literally starting to think whether theres some big picture over there that i am honestly not able to grasp.

Actually on a TV show I saw Ekta Kapoor giving such mouth-shutting and prompt replies that I admit I was quite impressed, she is not so stupid after all then. She says its for
people to get away from their daily hassles ,fine so you tell them a story which has so many
glitches and hitches that they'll end up thinking,'at least my life is definitely better than
this',kewl accepted,people do end up feeling better if they see someone else who is in much
more trouble than they are,Ekta-1,Me-0.

Then she goes on saying that things are dumbed down and storyline is made mildly predictable because people after their day of hard work wouldn't want to strain their brains much and expect a straightforward recreation,Ok.Then show them Tom,Jerry na,will work better,and whos to guarantee that the deadly characters in her soaps won't give more headache? And a touch of mystery or thrill doesn't necessarily tire one down on the contrary it might revitalise the mind.Deadpan plots might just end up making us feel more droopy sucking out all the will to do anything after one episode....OOhhhHHkkkk so thats the trick you will lose the will to get up,to change channels and the next serial begins in a second, wow hats off,I really hadn't seen this coming,Ekta-2,Me-0.

Finally,she says it bridges generation gap,WHAT?? Aunties and gradmas see young people romancing and the concept of girlfriend,boyfriend is made clearer to them like how they behave and talk to each other and all making the aunties more liberal minded,Holy cow,now I am completely out cold.Shahrukh Khan has been trying to do the same thing for 20 years and only thing he has managed to do is to make girls think that boyfriends have to behave like he does in his films.Should a love story MUST have some family opposition and the girl or boy being spoilt at first ,usually the boy ,with him suddenly becoming an angelic person after marriage because of the 'tyaag of bahu'.At least the bits and pieces that I have seen the supposedly young people portrayed there DO NOT behave the way a sane young person would behave.Ok I am taking this one to save me the shame..Ekta-2 Me-1.

Of course,things are changing and they will hopefully and there have been a few good exceptions at least marathi ones that I have come across but right now lets just hope the
American Writers Association Strike ends soon and we can get back on the usual dosage of the
Prison Break,Lost and many... :-P

But I can't help thinking,I just can't that Ekta Kapoor might end up criticising these
shows better than I have managed hers..:-P

Fred : "Just a couple of drops of Ageing Potion would do "

In Potterworld you come of age at 17 only.Savvy,eh? In India though, you have to be at least 18 to have that feel of 'a legitimate teenager',well, if not in India then at least in Pune or hell at least in my case definitely! Neway the thing is when you are 21,have a decent job offer in hand(apparently!) and at least a cloudy,hazy shape of an idea of what your next 2-3 years are going to be you tend to feel a little 'grown up',start having those ideas about breaking out of the caccoon and doing something 'grown up' style...the best time to do it would definitely be the end of a yet another loong,tiring exam...Well here's a scene of how i think one of those ..hhmmmm...."events" would go, mind you there are no names mentioned, its almost imaginary but unlike every other imaginations this might just have a bit too much of a realistic base,its almost like it has happened.....<:-P ....

The Players :-

the guy who-thinks-he-is-not-drunk-but-he-is-a-little-bit

the guy who-wants-to-avoid-puking-at-all-costs.....past experiences do count,see... sigh...a lost cause in the end though

the guy who-is-dead-drunk-and-wants-to-prove-that-he-is-not-that-drunk

the guy who-has-had-maximum-to-drink-and-yet-shows-no-visible-'effects' ....obviously the one who everyone else secretely envies....

the Host who himself doesn't drink but doesn't mind others drinking in his house when-parents-are-gone
......one couldn't have wished for a better set-up,
a place just waiting to be trashed down,wassay?

and lastly the guy who doesn't like drinking but is present there to see others get drunk and have himself a few good laughs....

Now with this stage set,how would the events unfold....predictably i guess...there would be the unmistakable thrashing of all past bad teachers and proffessors...the nostalgic moments of bunked lectures and 'worst till' submissions,remembering again about the narrow escapes from teachers,lab assistants and hell even traffic police, and of course last but not the least 'girls'!! Well the two guys who are not drinking would have 'a considerable advantage' over others of being able to steer conversation away from their 'muses' without others realising it quickly :-P.And once the "4 Musketeers" are enough overwhelmed, man the two sane ones could just make them dance,sing,sit on stupid stools ,something that they as 'grown ups' would rather avoid....In the end though it might just unintentionally take a wrong turn and someone might just end up crying as he could no longer keep the conflicting emotions bottled up....

Is this growing up? Or is this wrong on all possible levels?Well i'm not talking about whether drinking is Ok or not ,its a different ball game completely and what I think about drinking isn't going to change anyone else's opinion about it nor do I want to. Secondly, 'I haven't done this till today so I must do it at least once' instinct is considerably dominating in these years.

So doing something crazy is not bad, even when we grow up though what matters is you should be able to tell when to, how to and up to what limit, even realizing that you have a choice to say 'no' and sticking to it is crazy enough......You know deciding not to act crazy when given a choice is itself crazy in some crazy way!!Ok,trust me, I'm not drinking while writing this.....So in the end I would quote JD from Scrubs as he has said it better and in fewer words what I wanted to say......."I always assumed growing up happened automatically as you got older ..but its really something you have to choose to do......"

here's a fitting sequel to the story,its the 'next chapter' done by one of the sober ones.. :-P

A generation tussle ?

For the older generation the new generation always appears less commited, less patriotic, too materialistic , too self-obsessed and what not.This is completely accepatable ,hell i don't know how pissed off i would be if my kids say that they're off to Mars for the weekend or something :-P...neway the point is Generation Gap's not only about 'amachya weli asa navhata' and 'ata te diwas gele' though somewhat irritatingly its definitely the most visible manifestation of it...:-P,:D. Its about knowing that because the circumstances are like A to Z different the things that were rational and 'good' in all senses of the word in those days might not be 'hip' or 'trendy' or whatever it is now.So in those days we as kids might have made the same calls that our parents did ,but the fact that we don't do that today itself means not that our mentality is different but we have adopted to this world just like they had done long bac and lets face it , its definitely won't be easy to adopt to or to assimilate something new in later life,right?

But hey,things are not that simple.We don't evolve in 50 years.Man if it took 5000 years for 'a tail' to vanish , think about all the cultural and social aspects that are unmistakably so closely tied up with our perceptions of 'being ethical' and 'being moral' that anything anyone does thats 'out of the ordinary' as they call it these days is frowned upon.

A scenario : group of 3 adult couples discussing about the 'apparent escapades' of the daughter of one of their NRI friends, They all agree that she is very intelligent and hardworking and homely (SHIT ,why is this still looked upon as a necessary quality of a girl...neway thats another hot( :P ) topic...lolzzz ) ,you know the whole nine yards.. :P( man why are such discussions invariably about girls? guess intelligent and hardworking together is too much for a guy to handle neway :P).So she has done engineering(s/w of course :P) ,has a good job.Fine things going smoothly right,now here comes the kicker.An year later,she realised that she no longer liked what she was doing she felt lost and helpless wondering whats going on.So she's decided to become a doctor(man a BIG KICK even for me).Thats it."This is completely stupid and irresponsible and ACHARAT",the unanimous agreement between all.Hell,even I agreed a bit....

But now,Im thinking whats wrong?I mean lets keep the money issue aside.She is at least honest enough to listen to her 'inner self' or whatever , she definitely takes her life seriously her career seriously so how come she's IRRESPONSIBLE or insane? Hell I don't know how many of us are honest enough about what we like and whether we are really happy in doing what we are doing.We hate slogging , we hate mugging up ,we hate those 8 hours of boring collages and everything,yet we do it.Some times we don't have a choice ..we have a responsibility to do something ,some of us might be accountable for others and hell we choose again and again the things that sometime later are going to make our life easy.Theres nothing wrong in this, not at all. Come on we even think twice before lying just so that our 'afterlife' in heaven is peaceful.So yes even though 'sacrifice' is a big word for all this , it somehow seems fitting,i dunno it does.So even the girl in the story is sacrificing something, maybe her belief of not to listen to herself honestly,wassay??

So here's my point, generation gap is a definite two-way traffic ,but not that both are going in opposite directions , both are heading the same way , its just 'the divider' is too big........yessss managed a bit poetic twist to end it pretty rudimentary though......lollzzzz....

Being Impulsively Impulsive

Well no particular reason for the second order sentence i was just being impulsive.... :P Well i'm not exactly one of those lets-just-do-it-what-difference-does-it-makes types on the contrary actually....I'm the kind of guy who would rather delay making a decision that i am uncomfortable with to such an extent that situation will eventually make it for me..like bunking a lecture..take such a pathetically long time for deciding that finally ur so late that no
self-respecting teacher would allow me to sit neways.....man that was close...:D..yess i know its a bad quality, a very bad one in fact so the solution ... lets be Impulsive people....:D :D

Sometimes time doesn't give you a choice it constraints you,forces you,compels you ,you just can't run, you have to put your act together and do something ;this is not "impulsive" in a true sense.If u don't hurry u might just screw up everything there ..what happened to making a choice to be reckless,nope not here....So its when the situation doesn't necessarily demand and still u do it..thats the case im talking about...

Sometimes the mind sort of 'conditions' u to just go ahead and do it..Psychologically it might be the feeling that 'i've never been impulsive lets be one now'.tats just an attempt for self-redemption of some sort i guess might even be an ego boost or just a way to prove something.The main problem here is that when we r making the actual decision we'r not so concerned or bothered about the outcome ,we are only focussed around making a decision and even if we are serious about what would happen take solace in convincing ourselves hey it was impulsive u know..So its almost like we create a sort of cushioning to protect ourselves....... ..psychologically..

In a sense its paradoxial at its root..how can u be objectively,cool-headedly,thinking-it-over decide to be impulsive?I mean you are aware that there are plenty of chances that ur decision might just be completely disastrous that you might have to actually start agreeing a bit with ur friends about their view that 'this dude's completely off the rocker..',its the fact that you take into account all the consequences and everything and yet the actual decision making process must be impulsive..yess the consequences do form a major part of any decision making process
but u r not gonna think about WHAT the consequences are going to be as such, what you do is just tell urself that things may well be messed up later...i think when u do that u r not afraid to be impulsive or feel compulsive to be impulsive or feel a need to conveince urself that its OK to go wrong , u already know that thank you ... :-P

I think thats the point i wanted to make, being impulsive just for the sake of being one,not because time demands,not because others think ,not because u feel u should be at least by now, because in these cases u don't have a choice....and so u sulk,u complain(at least i definitely do.. :P)..and i know whats-the-use-of-doing-this-crap type of people might just find it stupid but i found it quite funny,entertaining and to some extend satisfying...

We were on Tekdi. About a couple of minutes after we reached 'Khaan'(20 minutes of walking....this definitely exceeds expectations epsecially on a Sunday :P) a friend said...'hey look over there thats ****'(i am not writing her name because our focus of attention changes every other day so whats the point) and the two of us just went back...not sitting a bit to enjoy the beautiful sunset and stupid enough to turn our back on the refreshing 'non-AC' wind ,just hurrying back as fast as we could only to later realise that we had of course missed her... :(
.. well even if we had caught up with her , we wouldn't have done nething but spare an occasional glance out of the corner of the eyes anyway .. but still.. ..So now we had no other option but to wait in the stuffy place near ARAI road for 30 minutes untill our friends come back( they weren't going to take pity on us and come back asap neways ) so in a nutshell it turned out to be a fiasco...And as we sat there laughing our way through those 30 minutes i realised that never once did i get a thought like 'maybe i shouldn't have done it'... Perhaps making the wrong decision for once didn't bothered me much..of course this is so much a trivial matter but even if i manage to extend at least 5% of that feeling in any important decisions that go wrong and theres a good chance that they do :P

..well here's to hope that i will.. :D:D...